I am a mom who is learning to adapt everyday to the challenges of raising two daughters.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Gifts

I don't understand how taking a class, which is supposed to help determine what your spiritual gifts are and how you are going to use them, has made me more confused than helpful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the class and conducted a lot of research as a result of the class, however, I don't feel I have truly "unleashed my niche". It's one thing to understand one's identity and personality, it is entirely another thing to put it into perspective and use it for the "greater good".

I believe part of my confusion is that I keep second guessing myself. I like to evaluate things until I fully understand them. The problem with determining spiritual gifts is you are not supposed to second guess. You are suposed to use your gut instinct rather than your thoughts. This is where I am bad for taking tests such as these. The solution the module has for situations like this is to have someone else take the test as though they are you. This is good, but I feel, has its weeknesses too.

When I take a test on personality, you really have to focus on who you actually are, and not on who you want to be. This can be done, but subconsciously one is natually inclined to persieve themselves to be who they want to be anyway. Their minds are going to give examples to support their thoughts and have the ability to give direct references who will verify their thoughts. The same can be said for people who are going to take the test for you. They are going to answer, not necessarily intentionally, who they think and percieve you are to them. At this point who is right?

I believe everyone has multiple identies. To my children I am their nurturer, caregiver, organizer, provider, supporter, boundry enforcer, maid, cook, and driver. These don't even come close to all the characteristics it takes to be their mom. Am I these characteristics to everyone? No. Do I enjoy every characteristic it takes to be their mom? Maybe not all the time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

When I am serving in a ministry, I am several different characteristics. I am not these characteristics all the time, but for that time, I am. I am a woman trying to serve God in a different way other than being a mom or a wife. This is why it is hard for other people to evaluate my personality. There is no one physical person who is a witness to all of my identities. My husband is not always there to witness me serving in certain ministries, he knows my tendencies, but is not always there. The same goes for friends of mine, they are not their at night when Chad and I are parenting our children before bed. And all of this Ok, but hopefully one can see how confused I am when I am trying to determine what my spiritual gifts are.

To try and help determine what my real gifts are I selected 2 people to help take the tests for me. My husband, of course, and my spiritual buddy who knows my tendencies as well. With the three of us I know I can get a better result, however, it is difficult still because they have the subconsious ability to respond to how they want me to be, not how I actually am. This is where I wish the Holy Spirit, who knows and understands the complete me, could just tell me where to go and what to do.

My prayer is for Him to just use me as a tool and use me to my full potential. I know He will open and close doors for me. I am more than willing to listen, especially now. I just hope my bias does not interfere with, what I perceive, God wants me to do with my gifts.

"Use me, oh God!
See my strengths and embrace them,
see my weaknesses as experience,
see my body as a tool for you,
see my mind and influence it,
I am yours.
Use me, Oh God!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Stories about Santa lies

Little monkey and Santa today


Stories about "santa lies"


I have been having problems with the "Santa lies" which has to be created in order for your children to believe in him. For example, I was at Wal-mart last night and a little girl saw that I had a Littlest Petshop Playground in my cart. Her mom reminded the little girl that she received Littlest Petshop last year. I almost said, "Well my daughter knows santa is working on it, so I had to get it for her". When I started to say this, I realized I could potentially wreck the "idea of santa" for this little girl. If it was my own daughter at her age, I would have told her the truth as we have been already leading into the fact he is not real; however, she was not my daughter, so I had to make some quick cover detailing that my daughter has been wanting the Littlest Petshop Playground for a while now. The mom could obviously tell I was about to blow the "santa lie" and when she walked away she mouthed the words, "thank you". I think I did the right thing.

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Pooky bear is way too smart for her own good! Today, even after we have gone over many times that the santa she sees is not the "real santa", Pooky bear while sitting on santa's lap, was asked what she wanted for Christmas. She cheekily replied, "don't you know santa?, you've been working on it?" Santa's reply was "I want to hear again to make sure I don't get it right" Pooky bear, very snarky at this point, replied, "I want Littlest Petshop" (she said it in a tone resembling a "Duh!" sound. I laughed so hard it hurt!

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While sitting in the Dr's office tonight with my oldest daughter, I noticed she saw a picture of Santa on the wall. I looked at the picture and saw Santa sitting in a row boat with a bunch of animal friends and toys.
I asked my daughter, "What does santa ride in?"
"He rides in a sleigh, he can't ride in a boat, cause he couldn't get to my house!"
She had the whole waiting room laughing including the staff!
I would have never thought that's why santa does not ride in a boat.
That girl is definitely too smart for her own good!

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Chad and I are trying to create more of an idea of Santa with the intention of teaching the girls, when they are old enough, where santa came from and why people celebrate santa. When that happens we will not have presents under the tree from santa, but a chance to draw names and have more of a "secret santa" with emphasis on doing something nice for someone. Our plan is, a week before Christmas, we will draw names and everyone will have to do something nice for that person each day leading up to Christmas. On Christmas eve, everyone will fill the stockings of the person they drew. We want to encourage the kids to make something rather than buying the gift. I think this is a good compromise to the "santa idea" and reminds children that the real St. Nicholas did something nice for some girls, not to get praise, but to do, esscencially, what Jesus would do-help those in need. This is the santa idea we want to teach, but it is not easy for a three year old to understand.

We both have told her the santa she sees is not real, but she talks to him like he is. Maybe it's because we still are telling her to sit on his lap and he is the one asking what she wants, or maybe it is the other children and all the propaganda in support of santa around her, I am not sure, but it is cute all the comments she makes as she is learning. I think we sill start focusing on our beliefs when Little monkey if 4 or 5. I don't want to wreck the "santa experience" too soon. We'll see what happens.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Another cute story

"Look Brandy! Little monkey is playing with me!"

"That's great! I am so happy the two of you are having fun together."

"But, I'm not a toy!?"

Why can't I see Jesus?

After praying my daughter asked,

"Mommy, why can't I see Jesus?"

Thinking of answer quickly, I replied,

"That's because Jesus is our hearts."

She paused for a momment and commented,

"Oh, Jesus must be sleeping then, because I can't hear him."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Super cleaning Thursday

We've been so busy lately, I admit my cleaning has been not as fine tuned as I would like it to be, so, I have decided I am going to host another, "super clean your house" day! I am going to update my list to keep track of my accomplishments.
My goals today:

- Laundry- get as many loads done as possible, this must include folding and putting away clothing. did 3 complete loads, the nice thing is that I can only go as fast as the washer will let me.

- Dishes - wash until every dish in this house is clean. Yeah I started!

- Litter box - I don't think anyone wants details to this one. Done

- vacuum- this includes hallway and bedrooms Doing when the kids are up from their naps

- sort miscellaneous stuff and have the attitude of "keep, sell, toss" have started, so far I have 1/2 a box full of stuff to get trid of and 1/2 a bag of garbage. Wow do we have a lot of stuff!

- empty all garbages in house done

We will see what I get done, who knows, I may be able to actually complete this list!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Some pics of the concert Sunday


The quality is not great but you can still see how cute the girls are in their pretty dresses.

Insomnia

I am tired, but can not sleep. Tomorrow I am going to pay for it! I have been up for the last hour playing with the pictures we took today from Pooky Bear's pagent at church. I am also listening to Pandora.com( http://www.pandora.com/ )radio.

Pandora is very cool. You pick a song or artist you want to listen to and they pick songs which relate to that and play only that genre. I am pretty pumped because a found a radio with worship music to dance music. I so have to play this for Pooky bear, who loves her baby techno dance cd. I have been trying to find fun ways to introduce worship music to my girls at their level. I did discover that Blessings has a video and music collection called "God Made Babies ". It's kind of like baby einstein but with biblical references and worship music. Little monkey is getting a video for Christmas. I love Blessings http://www.blessings.com/ .

I'm all about being a free advertiser tonight. Oh well! Enjoy!



Saturday, December 09, 2006

Newest pics




Newest pics of Pooky Bear and Little Monkey

T'is the season to be busy

I think as Pooky bear gets older, we get busier and busier. I actually admit I like it. This is what I have wanted for my children. I just hope they like it too, or things will have to change. With Christmas parties, pageant rehearsals, soccer and Christmas pageants, our weekends are packed with things to do. It is truly great! It may sound weird, but it keeps us from a boring weekend of not knowing what to do.

I remember when Pooky bear was little, Chad and I wouldn't know what to do on the weekends. We often would stay home. Now, with all of the activities, we are often out of the house before 9 or 10 am. We are getting more house cleaning done, because we are forced to put it into our schedule or else it won't get done. This is a very good thing!

I do have to say I am not getting any major cleaning time, but that just means I need to set aside a day of cleaning. I think tomorrow afternoon and into the evening I will work on my basement. I kind of wrecked any organization I had down there trying to look for my missing Christmas boxes (which I found by the way and my tree looks fabulous!). I could probably start doing it now, but Pooky bear and I have to leave in an hour and I feel like procrastinating instead. Moms need a break too. Did I mention everyone in my house, except me, are sleeping right now in between activities. I would be sleeping to, but I had coffee at Tim Horton's while getting Pooky bear's free drink.

Hats off to Tim Hortons, because they sponsor her soccer team, they give every player a free drink after they are done playing, they just have to show their shirt. Pretty cool! Pooky bear loves it, and I'm loving it too because I am in need of a good cup of coffee after being the assistant coach for her team. Coffee is a good thing!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Trying to keep up with appearances

It's my family tradition to set the Christmas tree the first weekend of December, it is nice because it also coinsides with the start of advent. Chad and I decided it would be a godd idea to have a set time in which we do it, that way there is little procrastination from Chad and me not putting the tree up in the middle of November. It works well for us, Pooky bear and little monkey had a blast too!

We set up the tree, which sadly is beginning to break down, and put the lights and some decorations only to discover we couldn't find a box of Christmas decorations. My tree right now is wilting at the top because the angel, which I normally use for decoration on my end table, is too big. Chad said we shouldn't put the angel up at all, but I commented that it isn't a Christmas tree with out a tree topper. Which I know sounds weird, but it wouldn't be the same; so, now I am trying to find the mysterious box which went missing and making decorations to help my poor tree look normal again.

It's a struggle trying to make my tree look like it used to. I'm missing all of the bows I hand made to replace garland and a lot of my ordaments I made as a child. I am happy we have the ones Pooky bear made last year, but it is not the same. I keep looking at pictures of my tree in previous years and feel sad it does not look the same.

Will this affect my Christmas? Of course not. If anything, I think I will get the kids to help me make new decorations for the tree to help with its lack of ordaments and bows. It still looks pretty when the lights are on.

Friday, December 01, 2006

helpful

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11