Gifts

I don't understand how taking a class, which is supposed to help determine what your spiritual gifts are and how you are going to use them, has made me more confused than helpful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the class and conducted a lot of research as a result of the class, however, I don't feel I have truly "unleashed my niche". It's one thing to understand one's identity and personality, it is entirely another thing to put it into perspective and use it for the "greater good".

I believe part of my confusion is that I keep second guessing myself. I like to evaluate things until I fully understand them. The problem with determining spiritual gifts is you are not supposed to second guess. You are suposed to use your gut instinct rather than your thoughts. This is where I am bad for taking tests such as these. The solution the module has for situations like this is to have someone else take the test as though they are you. This is good, but I feel, has its weeknesses too.

When I take a test on personality, you really have to focus on who you actually are, and not on who you want to be. This can be done, but subconsciously one is natually inclined to persieve themselves to be who they want to be anyway. Their minds are going to give examples to support their thoughts and have the ability to give direct references who will verify their thoughts. The same can be said for people who are going to take the test for you. They are going to answer, not necessarily intentionally, who they think and percieve you are to them. At this point who is right?

I believe everyone has multiple identies. To my children I am their nurturer, caregiver, organizer, provider, supporter, boundry enforcer, maid, cook, and driver. These don't even come close to all the characteristics it takes to be their mom. Am I these characteristics to everyone? No. Do I enjoy every characteristic it takes to be their mom? Maybe not all the time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

When I am serving in a ministry, I am several different characteristics. I am not these characteristics all the time, but for that time, I am. I am a woman trying to serve God in a different way other than being a mom or a wife. This is why it is hard for other people to evaluate my personality. There is no one physical person who is a witness to all of my identities. My husband is not always there to witness me serving in certain ministries, he knows my tendencies, but is not always there. The same goes for friends of mine, they are not their at night when Chad and I are parenting our children before bed. And all of this Ok, but hopefully one can see how confused I am when I am trying to determine what my spiritual gifts are.

To try and help determine what my real gifts are I selected 2 people to help take the tests for me. My husband, of course, and my spiritual buddy who knows my tendencies as well. With the three of us I know I can get a better result, however, it is difficult still because they have the subconsious ability to respond to how they want me to be, not how I actually am. This is where I wish the Holy Spirit, who knows and understands the complete me, could just tell me where to go and what to do.

My prayer is for Him to just use me as a tool and use me to my full potential. I know He will open and close doors for me. I am more than willing to listen, especially now. I just hope my bias does not interfere with, what I perceive, God wants me to do with my gifts.

"Use me, oh God!
See my strengths and embrace them,
see my weaknesses as experience,
see my body as a tool for you,
see my mind and influence it,
I am yours.
Use me, Oh God!

Stories about Santa lies

Little monkey and Santa today


Stories about "santa lies"


I have been having problems with the "Santa lies" which has to be created in order for your children to believe in him. For example, I was at Wal-mart last night and a little girl saw that I had a Littlest Petshop Playground in my cart. Her mom reminded the little girl that she received Littlest Petshop last year. I almost said, "Well my daughter knows santa is working on it, so I had to get it for her". When I started to say this, I realized I could potentially wreck the "idea of santa" for this little girl. If it was my own daughter at her age, I would have told her the truth as we have been already leading into the fact he is not real; however, she was not my daughter, so I had to make some quick cover detailing that my daughter has been wanting the Littlest Petshop Playground for a while now. The mom could obviously tell I was about to blow the "santa lie" and when she walked away she mouthed the words, "thank you". I think I did the right thing.

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Pooky bear is way too smart for her own good! Today, even after we have gone over many times that the santa she sees is not the "real santa", Pooky bear while sitting on santa's lap, was asked what she wanted for Christmas. She cheekily replied, "don't you know santa?, you've been working on it?" Santa's reply was "I want to hear again to make sure I don't get it right" Pooky bear, very snarky at this point, replied, "I want Littlest Petshop" (she said it in a tone resembling a "Duh!" sound. I laughed so hard it hurt!

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While sitting in the Dr's office tonight with my oldest daughter, I noticed she saw a picture of Santa on the wall. I looked at the picture and saw Santa sitting in a row boat with a bunch of animal friends and toys.
I asked my daughter, "What does santa ride in?"
"He rides in a sleigh, he can't ride in a boat, cause he couldn't get to my house!"
She had the whole waiting room laughing including the staff!
I would have never thought that's why santa does not ride in a boat.
That girl is definitely too smart for her own good!

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Chad and I are trying to create more of an idea of Santa with the intention of teaching the girls, when they are old enough, where santa came from and why people celebrate santa. When that happens we will not have presents under the tree from santa, but a chance to draw names and have more of a "secret santa" with emphasis on doing something nice for someone. Our plan is, a week before Christmas, we will draw names and everyone will have to do something nice for that person each day leading up to Christmas. On Christmas eve, everyone will fill the stockings of the person they drew. We want to encourage the kids to make something rather than buying the gift. I think this is a good compromise to the "santa idea" and reminds children that the real St. Nicholas did something nice for some girls, not to get praise, but to do, esscencially, what Jesus would do-help those in need. This is the santa idea we want to teach, but it is not easy for a three year old to understand.

We both have told her the santa she sees is not real, but she talks to him like he is. Maybe it's because we still are telling her to sit on his lap and he is the one asking what she wants, or maybe it is the other children and all the propaganda in support of santa around her, I am not sure, but it is cute all the comments she makes as she is learning. I think we sill start focusing on our beliefs when Little monkey if 4 or 5. I don't want to wreck the "santa experience" too soon. We'll see what happens.

Another cute story

"Look Brandy! Little monkey is playing with me!"

"That's great! I am so happy the two of you are having fun together."

"But, I'm not a toy!?"

Why can't I see Jesus?

After praying my daughter asked,

"Mommy, why can't I see Jesus?"

Thinking of answer quickly, I replied,

"That's because Jesus is our hearts."

She paused for a momment and commented,

"Oh, Jesus must be sleeping then, because I can't hear him."

Super cleaning Thursday

We've been so busy lately, I admit my cleaning has been not as fine tuned as I would like it to be, so, I have decided I am going to host another, "super clean your house" day! I am going to update my list to keep track of my accomplishments.
My goals today:

- Laundry- get as many loads done as possible, this must include folding and putting away clothing. did 3 complete loads, the nice thing is that I can only go as fast as the washer will let me.

- Dishes - wash until every dish in this house is clean. Yeah I started!

- Litter box - I don't think anyone wants details to this one. Done

- vacuum- this includes hallway and bedrooms Doing when the kids are up from their naps

- sort miscellaneous stuff and have the attitude of "keep, sell, toss" have started, so far I have 1/2 a box full of stuff to get trid of and 1/2 a bag of garbage. Wow do we have a lot of stuff!

- empty all garbages in house done

We will see what I get done, who knows, I may be able to actually complete this list!

Some pics of the concert Sunday

The quality is not great but you can still see how cute the girls are in their pretty dresses.

Insomnia

I am tired, but can not sleep. Tomorrow I am going to pay for it! I have been up for the last hour playing with the pictures we took today from Pooky Bear's pagent at church. I am also listening to Pandora.com( http://www.pandora.com/ )radio.

Pandora is very cool. You pick a song or artist you want to listen to and they pick songs which relate to that and play only that genre. I am pretty pumped because a found a radio with worship music to dance music. I so have to play this for Pooky bear, who loves her baby techno dance cd. I have been trying to find fun ways to introduce worship music to my girls at their level. I did discover that Blessings has a video and music collection called "God Made Babies ". It's kind of like baby einstein but with biblical references and worship music. Little monkey is getting a video for Christmas. I love Blessings http://www.blessings.com/ .

I'm all about being a free advertiser tonight. Oh well! Enjoy!

Newest pics

Newest pics of Pooky Bear and Little Monkey

T'is the season to be busy

I think as Pooky bear gets older, we get busier and busier. I actually admit I like it. This is what I have wanted for my children. I just hope they like it too, or things will have to change. With Christmas parties, pageant rehearsals, soccer and Christmas pageants, our weekends are packed with things to do. It is truly great! It may sound weird, but it keeps us from a boring weekend of not knowing what to do.

I remember when Pooky bear was little, Chad and I wouldn't know what to do on the weekends. We often would stay home. Now, with all of the activities, we are often out of the house before 9 or 10 am. We are getting more house cleaning done, because we are forced to put it into our schedule or else it won't get done. This is a very good thing!

I do have to say I am not getting any major cleaning time, but that just means I need to set aside a day of cleaning. I think tomorrow afternoon and into the evening I will work on my basement. I kind of wrecked any organization I had down there trying to look for my missing Christmas boxes (which I found by the way and my tree looks fabulous!). I could probably start doing it now, but Pooky bear and I have to leave in an hour and I feel like procrastinating instead. Moms need a break too. Did I mention everyone in my house, except me, are sleeping right now in between activities. I would be sleeping to, but I had coffee at Tim Horton's while getting Pooky bear's free drink.

Hats off to Tim Hortons, because they sponsor her soccer team, they give every player a free drink after they are done playing, they just have to show their shirt. Pretty cool! Pooky bear loves it, and I'm loving it too because I am in need of a good cup of coffee after being the assistant coach for her team. Coffee is a good thing!

Trying to keep up with appearances

It's my family tradition to set the Christmas tree the first weekend of December, it is nice because it also coinsides with the start of advent. Chad and I decided it would be a godd idea to have a set time in which we do it, that way there is little procrastination from Chad and me not putting the tree up in the middle of November. It works well for us, Pooky bear and little monkey had a blast too!

We set up the tree, which sadly is beginning to break down, and put the lights and some decorations only to discover we couldn't find a box of Christmas decorations. My tree right now is wilting at the top because the angel, which I normally use for decoration on my end table, is too big. Chad said we shouldn't put the angel up at all, but I commented that it isn't a Christmas tree with out a tree topper. Which I know sounds weird, but it wouldn't be the same; so, now I am trying to find the mysterious box which went missing and making decorations to help my poor tree look normal again.

It's a struggle trying to make my tree look like it used to. I'm missing all of the bows I hand made to replace garland and a lot of my ordaments I made as a child. I am happy we have the ones Pooky bear made last year, but it is not the same. I keep looking at pictures of my tree in previous years and feel sad it does not look the same.

Will this affect my Christmas? Of course not. If anything, I think I will get the kids to help me make new decorations for the tree to help with its lack of ordaments and bows. It still looks pretty when the lights are on.

helpful

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

Experiences

From taking a spiritual gifts workshop, my homework was to evaluate my experiences through life, including the painful ones. For some reason, this is harder to accept. I have a hard time grasping the thought that all the pain I went through as a child was intended by God to give me experience. I understand that He uses our experiences as tools for our spiritual gifts, my confusion is that isn't there another way to gain experience without pain. The answer is no, but I look at my children and I don't want any kind of pain upon them what so ever. Is that physically possible? Of course not. But I still struggle with the knowledge that He wants us to experience it. Does He cry when we are in pain? I like to think so.

As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.

Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.

I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.

After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.

I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?

The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?

That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.

One of my favourite songs:

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.

And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right.

It'll be fine lover of mine.

It'll be just fine.

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.

Fill your lives with love and bravery,

And you shall lead a live uncommon

I've heard you anguish

I've heard you hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out,

Set down you chains, until only faith remains

Set down you chains

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

There are plenty of people who pray for peace

But if praying were enough it would have come to be

Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves

To hear out voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom

sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way

there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith

To live, we must give; To live

And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill your lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead... Lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lent out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

Life uncommon by Jewel

Pictures

I can not upload any more pics on my flikr site, so I thought I would put more on my blog......

Enjoy! (Especially Auntie Mary)

A moment

I am taking a small moment to relax before the chaos begins with the kids coming back from pre-school and getting ready to head up to Saskatoon. There is a lot that needs to be done, but I have decided to take it slowly. I am not packing for the cabin this time and we are only going to be gone 2 nights at the max. So therefore, I can sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet.

I found in the past I can't pack days in advance. I do much better with starting my list in advance; then on the day of or night before, if necessary, I pack. I think today I am going to prove that stress is not necessary when packing last minute for a trip. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to start packing last week. I am not like that. I would actually forget more things if I packed that far in advance. My problem with packing too soon, is I will pack something, then realize I still need it and forget to put it back after, thus forgetting it.

Don't get me wrong, I will forget something. I am not that good at packing. Who is? Funny enough, I actually think Pooky bear will be a great packer, because she makes sure you don't forget anything she needs or especially wants. It will be interesting to see what happens when she gets older.

By the way, if I never mentioned before, Pooky bear can't wait to go to Saskatoon. The last time we were there was a day trip when she was 18 months old. This time, we are giving Pooky bear the MP3 player so we don't have to listen to Sharon, Lois and Bram all the way up. I have to say this trip will be significantly different from the last trip to Saskatoon. We are actually driving our own vehicle. That is really surreal to us. Although we miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car" (a 1986 2 door Tercel with duct tape covering the rust on it. It was a good thing the car was silver to "hide" the duct tape), it will be good to drive the mini van with all of its space and cd player with am/fm radio. "Auntie Mary's BIG car" only had an am radio, so we brought my cd player from grade 10 with lots of batteries. It's funny, I really do miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car", however, I am glad to have a car to call my own.

Now that I have gone down memory lane I just remembered things I need to add to my list. So I guess my relaxing time is over.

To everyone, have a great week end!

hands

Hands can be little or big, but they still can do so much.
I love my daughters!!

new pics

procrastination at its finest

My friend Cinder did this on her blog, so I thought I'd try:

The things in bold are the things I’ve done! Copy it and publish your list!!Make bold what you've done then copy and paste into your blog post. Easy-schmeezy!
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (well at the Lake)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 50 states
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked in Europe
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theater
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75 Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
77. Lost over 100 pounds
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be "sick"
90. Surfed in the ocean
91. Saved someone's life
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone else is giving birth
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Grand Canyon
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Rode an elephant

I'm a Timbit too!

I am now the official coach for the Timbits' North Zone Soccer Rider Team 4 and under category. No one else wanted the job, so of course I volunteered! The awesome thing is now I know all of the children's names and had them cheering (in unison), "GO RIDERS, GO!" It was great.

My Pooky bear did better this game. She actually played each of her turns right until the last minute where she decided she was tired and just stopped playing, so I sent in another player for the last minute, she cried so hard about me sending in someone else. Oh well, she has to learn. On her defense she had her first sleep over at her friends house last night which ended up in an awake over. Then she had to come to soccer in the morning with her friends with no nap before hand.

She had fun though at the awake over, I on the other hand missed her like crazy. I kept asking Chad if we should go over there to say good night, or at least call her. He had the level head to remind me it might agitate Pooky bear about us not being there. I did sneak in a call at 9 to find out how they went to bed though. Apparently at 4 am they woke up and would not go back to sleep until 6 am. Pooky bear had such big bags in her eyes in the morning!

You know she's really tired when she asked to have a nap when we got home. I think we will settle back into our routine pretty easy after her nap. I don't think we have another awake over for a while now, especially because it is our turn to host it next!

Remembrance Day

Today I thinks the kids and I are going to make "peace hands" to help remind me about tomorrow and teach the children about tomorrow. It's hard to explain to the kids about Remembrance day. I don't want it to be just a day where people wear poppies, and maybe watch a service on TV. How do you really teach the kids about what happened? I can teach them about peace in their world with friends and family. They have no clue about much else. I think maybe that is a good thing for now. Innocence is a virtue in this case.

another goal day

Today's goals include:
Update at 4:55pm in red

- no answering the phone with exceptions being Chad and Dr's office (I caved and answered the phone when auntie mary called, but she lives in BC, so other exceptions can be made)

- no TV past 8:30 am (this worked for everyone except for little monkey who is teething very badly and needed some baby enstein at nearly 4pm)

- wash dishes (check)

- see how a toddler I babysit will do with out her Sucky at nap time (did surprisingly well, we'll see how tonight turned out)

- do laundry *including putting it away (I did laundry and put away laundry, but I am not finished yet)

- clean and vacuum living room (Cleaned but not vacuumed)

- make a craft with the kids this afternoon (did not happen, will have to make a point of doing so tomorrow)

- host a dance party this afternoon complete with dress up clothes and everything (Did not due because of behaviours)

- tidy up entrace way (I hate this job) (still procrastinated on, but one day it will get done)

We will see how it goes, so far it is going well, but the day is not over.

a long lost friend

I have recently had recently ran into an old friend of mine. It has been a long time since I had been with them. I was so happy, but reminded about why I hadn't seen them in a long time. My friend has the tendency to be very influential with not always the greatest intentions. It's funny, after only being with my friend for a matter of minutes, I was reminded about why my distance was necessary. Yet, I still missed my friend. I am so confused. Have you ever had a friend who was energetic, fun to be around when they show up, but controled how you did things? My friend would like to get together more often. I know my answer ought to be no, but I am tempted to say yes. I guess I won't worry about it until tomorrow morning when I have to decide if I want to see my friend again.

My answer will most likely be yes, with a little milk and a lot of sugar.

favourites

Chad and I have been sharing with each other what our favourite senses are. I thought I'd share them with all of you:

Smell: The girls after they had a bath, home made bread baking

Taste: (no brainer) MILK CHOCOLATE

Sound: Pooky bear and little monkey's laugh

Touch: the girls' skin

See: my daughters playing together at their own free will, and seeing people smile when they are truly happy.

I am such a mom who loves her daughters a lot! I hope that doesn't make me weird. I wonder how much these will change when the girls get older?

fallen

I feel like I have fallen off the face of the earth now that I am babysitting, I don't have enough time to think let alone time to blog. So, sorry to anyone who has been checking my blog only to find no new entry. Hopefully I will find more time, but for now, I hope everyone had a sugar filled halloween, I know we did!

Sorry Grandma

Since the flu entered our home, I have not had the chance to even think about blogging. My days have been filled with keeping a bucket around someone in my family (myself included), sending Chad to Shopper's frequently (poor guy went there 3 times yesterday), and keeping my family hydrated with pedialyte. I am still not feeling the greatest but I am in much better shape than yesterday.

I have been feeling so bad lately because my Grandma had tickets for us to attend her church's annual supper last night. Being that I was the one sick, I thought I would feel better and kept pushing off telling Grandma I was not well. But by 5 pm it was definately obvious I was not getting any better so I called to tell her the bad news. I felt aweful especially because she spent a lot of time stressing over our tickets trying to get them at an early time so we could attend.

Tomorrow, I will call her and appologize again for canceling at such short notice.

No matter what happens, family comes first

On Saturday I got a chance to coordinate and participate in a clothing give away at our church. It was an amazing experience I will never forget. Today, my friend and I were going to share at our church what we witnessed on Saturday, however, Pooky bear woke up in the wee hours of the morning with a very upset tummy and in desperate need of new sheets etc. This continued through out the morning, so I made a decision to not to go to church (at first I was thinking just I would go) I will miss the opportunity to share with my church family but am confident my friend will explain enough for the both of us.

So, now I'm at home and all of my babies are sleeping (including my husband who got an upset stomach too from watching pooky bear). I am realizing it is a good time to reflect and enjoy the quiet, even if it is just for a brief momment.

Princess of Geeks

Chad and I had a lengthly conversation last night about who is the bigger geek, him or me. I, of course, said it was him with all of his knowledge of Star Wars, Star Trek and any other movie out there created before the 1990's that and he still role plays with his friends 2-3 times a week. Oh, and did I mention he's obsessed with his computer and all the games he plays on it. And a mention needs to go towards the fact he searches on e-bay to find rare transfomer figurines and old movies. In our conversation I also included the fact he still plays Nintendo 64 and brings it over to his friends house to play. I need to mention all of these things he does currently.

Here are the points Chad had against me:

- I was in 4 choirs in high school Done in the past

- I was in band for 5 years, the last year includes 2 jazz bands Done in the past

- I was the president of Peer Support and S.A.D.D. in my school Done in the past

- I know more than one charater to Strawberry Shortcake and Care bear's Chad can do this too

- I named my cat after a movie barely anyone has seen present time I did this, but he named his cat after a movie they based a role playing game about

- when Chad and his friends went to watch a football game at the Pump, my friends and I went with them and played Disney Trivial Pursuit at a table near the back. I need to metion too that I one the game. One point for geekiness here

- I decorated Kira's room in Strawberry Shortcake and love the fact she likes it along with barbies, my little pony, and dolls. I have been known to ask Kira if she wants to play barbies or my little ponies with me. If we were to have had a boy, or two boys, Chad would have been all over looking for GI joes and Transformers (which he looks for himself now). So, I fell this is point does not count. He's just jealous I can relive my childhood with my daughters and he can't.

So, after that discussion, he decided I was not the queen of geeks, but only a princess, and he is the knight if geeks. I know there are several geeks in the kingdom of geeks, but I still feel, I should only be a countess, where as my husband, belongs in the grand castle (he can use the castle he designed 2 years ago) of geeks as a prince.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

I feel like I'm a bad mommy

This morning I took Pooky bear and I to the dentist. It was her first time and it was fun for her, but bad news for Chad and I. She has 3 cavities starting, and one full cavity. I felt about 3 inches high after hearing that. From talking with the dentist, we concluded that from all the milk she drinks, it has been leaving a plaque build up on her teeth, and from not proper brushing the plaque away, she has developed cavities. The dentist wants to treat them imediately beacause she will have her teeth until she is ten years old. Poor Pooky bear is going to have to be sedated to have the proceedure done. I still feel bad because I even floss her teeth regularly. I am a mommy on a mission now to get better tooth paste for her with flouride and one of those cool rotory tooth brushes. The fillings she gets in November will be the last fillings she gets under my watch!


As for me, I am a proud owner of only one cavity and in need of a root canal due to crouding in my teeth. I felt pretty good about it having only one cavity. That appointment will be in December.

Now, in reguards to teeth, the only one in need is Little Monkey. I did speak to the dentist about her lack of teeth and about the way in which they are coming in and she suggested the same as my Dr, she wants me to wait until she is a year old and then take her to see a pediactric dentist. The dentist was puzzled at why they are coming in the way they are because they don't normally do that unless there is crouding. So, we will have to hope she gets teeth soon!

A great frustration

I have been busy lately trying to plan a clothing give away for our church and have run into a stumbling block which is very frustrating to me. The idea of the clothing give away was to reach out to our community, so I naturally called the two schools in the neighbourhood to see if I could send pre made flyers home with the children. The one school had me call the communications director for their board office and see if I could get permission from her. ( I have called several times and am now convinced she is never in her office or a "made up" escape goat for situations like this one, which is too controversial to answer. The other school turned me down outright because my church was not of the right denomination, not in so many words, but the is the distinct impression I got. ARGH!

On a positive note, I contacted the closest community schools in the vicinity of my church and they were excited about the give away and told me how much flyers I would need and everything. I was greatly encouraged because just with these two schools alone we would potentially be reaching out to nearly 300 families in need. Now I just need more people to donate and my job of marketing specialist is complete.

a day well wasted

This morning started off with me being the first of us girls up. This is a first for me. Normally it is my daughters who are my alarm clock. I then started straightening up preparing for company this morning. I kept checking on my daughters and was overjoyed when one of them woke up finally 1/2 hr after me. After getting the one daughter up, her and I attempted to wake her older sister. That was fun for all of us!

After we all had breakfast, a friend came over to visit, then I was presently surprised with a phone call from Auntie Mary. We were on the phone for quite a while having a good chat. I, during this time, did some laundry, put away dishes, and started cooking a roast. I am so glad I can multi-task.

Now, I am waisting time blogging while my daughters watch "Dora the Explorer".

Today is a good day!

Clean sweep

Today, I went through Pooky bear's room and did a "clean sweep" of her toys. I am very impressed with it. She actually picked up her toys before bed, probably because Chad and I sat down with her and we all decided if she leaves a toys at the end of the day not put away, mommy and daddy will take it away for a week. It sounds cruel, but wow is it working. Pooky bear was involved in the consequence, which is very similar to what happens when she does puzzles on the carpet and not on the table. I am hoping to help her develop healthy cleaning and organizing habits. It has to start now, or we'll have more problems later.
Now, tomorrow, little monkey's room!

frustrating

I got a chance today to use my skills of getting what I want out of businesses. It's how we got our van, and many other things. On the 13th, Chad had a bad conflict with our bank, they corrected the problem (after I insisted upon it) then offered Chad a pre-approved VISA. Everything was fine, he called about it, got the limit on the card, the confirmation number and was advised it would be 7-10 business days before the card would come. (Note- all this information came from the bank manager at our branch and the VISA rep. on the phone) He phoned yesterday to enquire about the card and was advised it was still on its way.

Today, when I got home from pre-school, I was shocked to find out we were declined the VISA card. I could not understand how a PRE-APPROVED VISA could be declined. Now, being the person that I am, (I don't take a lot of crap from anyone except from my family) I phoned to complain. After my conversation was done, I had a manager's direct phone number for Chad to call and a huge formal complaint filed. I ended up driving the cell phone to Chad so he could call with in the hour. He called and the manager already was aware of the situation and profusely appologized to him for the mix up and assured him the card is approved with the limit that was already discussed and is being mailed today.

I feel much better now! Another fight against a major corporation successfully complete.

Going to the dentist

Well, after 10 years, I am finally going to the dentist. I couldn't afford to do it before, but now with Chad's medical coverage, I am finally going. Pooky Bear is going to come with me for her first check up too.

Last night I had a huge migrane which was clearly brought on by my wisdom teeth trying to come out of a false pallet, they were squishing what I am pretty sure is 2 cavities. Needless to say I was in a lot of pain yesterday. Right now, I am ready for them to pull the teeth rather than fill them. Then maybe my mouth won't be so crouded with teeth. Oh well!

I have been talking to Pooky bear about the dentist, she is excited about it. I sure hope she doesn't have any cavities. I think I am more nervous for her. She hasn't complained about her teeth, but you never know. I just don't want to see her in pain.

Fall

I know it's that time of the year again not only because the leaves are changing and the weather is colder, but I have my usual fall cold sore. I have always not liked them, but since I have had children, I really dislike them. I can kiss them as much as I want them to. What's really frustrating is I now have to wear a band-aid on it so Little Monkey doesn't touch it. It's rather uncomfortable, but it is better to have a band-aid than not to.

Pooky bear woke up this morning and saw the band-aid on my lip and asked why I have it. I explained I had a cold sore and that I don't want anyone else to touch it, she quickly ran into her room and gave me "Boe, the bear" to make me feel better, aren't children sweet!

Found a spark

I discovered I have a deep passion for the women ministry, esspecially for those women with young children. Based on that passion and understanding, I spoke with a friend of mine, who runs mom2 mom with me, and I told her about the desire I had to do something for the low-income families who live accross the street from our church. My suggestion, after discussing with her how much spare clothes we have, was to have a clothing give-give-away. We are actually going to do it in October. I am so excited about it! I have been wanting to do something for our community in need for a long time and now I have the chance to participate in it. It will be a lot of work, but it doesn't seem like it to me because I want to do it. I have found a spark, one day soon it will be a flame again!

Littlest pet shop

My little girl made a fort out of pillows and is sitting in it reading her poster for "Littlest Pet Shop" http://www.hasbro.com/littlestpetshop/ picking out everything she would like. I have never seen her like this before. She likes Barbies, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, dolls, little people, etc., but not as much as she loves her Littlest Pet shop animals lately. Chad and I have decided that if anyone asks what she wants for Christmas, we will tell them about Littlest pet shop. She is already wanting to write a letter to St Nicholas about what she wants for Christmas. It's still September! We kind of brought that one on ourselves because we told her earlier, when she asked for the Pet shop animals, maybe she could get them for Christmas. We didn't expect to get such enthusiasm from her about Christmas though!

Final update for Super cleaning week end!

Well, I wasn't able to complete my whole list of cleaning by Sunday night, however, I am happy to say I finished most of it. Today, I am going to work on Kitchen organization and clean the bathroom. I feel that will be adequate for the day. Cleaning is such an endless task. My goal for getting a cleaning routine is still in reach, but still needs fine tuning.

Super Cleaning Week End!

My updates on my cleaning progress Sat at 7:30pm is in purple:

My update on my cleaning progress Sun at 1:00pm is in Green:


My cleaning jobs for this week end are:

- Go through the girls clothing and pack away clothes which no longer fit and are not in season anymore. Go through Pooky bear's baby clothes and take out what Little monkey can wear. Little monkey needs this very badly done as she gained almost 2 1/2 lbs in one month! I am half done this. I did pooky bear's drawers, now I need to do Little Monkey's 3/4's finished. The hardest part was going through all of the rubbermaid bins of clothing. I actually sorted them now, so when she needs another size, I can just grab one rubbermaid bin. Yeah for that, now the only thing I have left to do is fit the clothes in Little Monkey's drawers and closet...Yeah!

- Laundry, including putting it away! I am half done this too. Only 4 more loads to do. It sounds like a lot, but I never actually caught up from last week. I am still pluggin away at it, I regret to say I did not do anymore laundry last night, but am very confident I will complete it today.

- Recycling paper and glass done and done

- Sleam cleaning my living room carpet, I keep putting it off Yeah, I'm still putting it off. I discovered I can get Chad to do it, so now, I am no longer procrastinating, just waiting for someone else to do.

- Pack up bassinet, mental note to remember to pack the linen with it. It is all ready to be taken down, I have the box sitting beside it with the linen in the bassinet waiting. The rest is Chad's job Chad is just waiting for Little Monkey to wake up from her nap so he can put it away.

- Dishes (that's a given) I am very happy to say I have only 2 more loads to do including our supper dishes from tonight, yeah! The dishes were done yesterday, but of course there are still dishes to wash from today. I really dislike the fact that there are always dishes to wash.

- Organize cupboards again, fitting in baby food is hard in a very small kitchen! I must do this tomorrow Still have not started this one, I thinnk I am going to tackle this one when the girls are in sleeping.

- Clean the girl's rooms, including steam cleaning their carpets I have decided to officially give Chad this job to do tomorrow. I really dislike steam cleaning. Chad and I talked about this one and decided, he is going to clean Pooky bear's room and I am going to clean Little Monkey's room.

- sort my "pile-o-junk" on top of my fridge. This is definitely a job I am going to do tomorrow with the sorting the cupboards. This is going to be another task to complete when the girls are sleeping.

- go grocery shopping Hee Hee I just added this one because we did this today too.

I feel a little sad because I have been cleaning what seems like forever, but have not finished much, here's hoping I complete a few more things on this list tonight and still have time to watch Extreme Makeover: home addition http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/ We'll see!

This is a huge list to do, hopefully I can accomplish most of it, if not I will add it to my list to do Monday.

Fall cleaning, HERE I COME!

A busy week

The week for me has been over-whelming with emotions. Pooky Bear started her first day of Pre-school. I can't believe it. I took her out on the weekend and got her a new "pack-pack", new runners, lunch bag ("mommae! It's not a lunch box it's a bag"), and a new outfit for the first day of school. (I am getting more school clothes this weekend).

It seemed so wired having a child in pre-school. I never expected to feel this way. I took 7 pictures of her with in 5 minutes. I was so excited about her starting school I completely forgot that I volunteered to be the parent helper for the first day of school. Oh well, it worked out beautifully because I have the best baby in the world! Little monkey slept and sat in the car seat for an hour, then enjoyed sitting and watching all the kids play with and around her. It was a wonderful day!

I found myself only wanting to talk to people who were actually excited about Pooky bear starting school. I didn't quite understand why some of my friends weren't excited. It is a big milestone in her life. But then I realized some of my friends don't have kids that age, so they don't quite have the realization that their baby is no longer a baby anymore. They'll soon learn.

Aside from that excitement, I FOUND MY CAMERA!!!! I have been missing it for a month now, and have already ordered a camera from e-bay to replace it. (It's my birthday gift) But I found it! It was in Little monkey's room in the bottom basket of her bassinet. A place I wouldn't have even thought to look for it, but I did look there this morning trying to find little monkey's fleece suit. I always seem to find things when I am looking for something else. I was so happy I found the camera, I forgot what I was originally looking for! Oh well.

In other news, I am now officially a soccer mom! I have been waiting to be a soccer mom since before I had kids. Auntie Mary and I used to go to my brother and sister's soccer games and I secretly wished one day I could be a soccer mom, complete with the chair and the ability to know every name on their child's team. Right now my chair can't be used as it is indoor soccer, but you better believe I will know all of Pooky bear's teamate's names by the end of the first game! She starts beginning of November and ends at the end of March. She will be playing in my old stomping grounds at Dr. Hanna gym. I can't wait. I

It's funny when I see parents who are sad when their children grow up, but I am the opposite, I am loving every minute of it, well, almost every minute of it. I want to be that parent who is driving their children to all these activities and participating when ever I can because I never had that. My parents were too busy with my siblings and still are busy with them. I always told myself, "if I ever have children, they are going to be treated equally, loved, respected, valued, trusted, and given all the support I possibly could." And that is what I strive to do.

Another thought

Sometimes I feel the more I learn, the more confused I get. I remember when I first became a Christian; there is a God, He loves me so much he gave His only son for me. I wish I had that passion again. I am surrounded by people who, I believe, still have that passion. With me, I still know there is a God, and in Him I have my trust in, but I feel there is no passion. I read my bible confused with all it's contradictions in it.

There is a youth book I have that takes teen yes or no questions, like whether or not to have sex before marriage, and gives you a yes and no answer with supporting bible verses for both. Granted the verse for "yes, it is OK to have sex before marriage" was a stretch because essentially focused on the idea that "Adam and eve did it with out a formal wedding". However, it bothers me that such a book can exist. This is why, I feel, there are so many different Christian denominations. I sometimes feel that books with this much contradiction should be burnt because it is like looking for an answer from God that you like, not actually what God would want from you.

I remember first really reading the bible, I started with the book of John. As I was told from the alpha course it was the best book to start with as a new Christian. Now I am reading other books of the bible and find myself confused because of something I read earlier. The old testament is definitely the hardest read, but is helpful to remember that God through Jesus changed some of the "old rules", but I still find it hard.

I would give anything to have that spark again, I have a lot to be thankful for, I know I would not be where I am today without God. I have lost my niche I guess. Youth is no longer my passion, I don't know where it lies anymore. I think I am going to start reading purpose driven life again to see if I can get on track again.

I am mokey

I did a "which Fraggle are you?" and I am mokey, does it surprise anyone?





I

Fraggle Rock

I love how, as a parent, I get to relive my childhood through my children. I just discovered Fraggle Rock http://www.fragglerocker.com/media/pics.asp?galleryName=group is back on the air mornings on BBC Kids at 10:00 a.m. I was overjoyed! Kira actually sat with me this time and did not get scared of the Gorgs! I was so happy. I love how T.V and toy companies are using what I used to play/watch as a child and mainstreaming it back because it's my generation who are having children. Extremely smart marketing as far as I'm concerned.

Moments I wish I were 3 again

Pooky bear just got a small box of new barbie accessories from Auntie Kyla today and is loving every minute if them. I insisted on sorting her room first before she got to play with the "new" toys. She waited patiently and helped when she could because she knew the end result would be.

When I was done, I found myself setting up a little house area for her barbies and was loving the fact her own barbies were about to get clothes on them. I found myself wishing for my old barbie stuff and wanting to play with pooky bear for hours. When I asked if I could play with her while Celeste slept, she politely said, "not right now mommae, I want to play with them myself. Maybe tomorrdow, tomorrdow you pay with me?" I accepted her offer reluctantly and secretly wished I was 3 again.

just some thoughts

These past few months have been filled with changes and the ideas of more changes to come. I find it fristrating when some changes are easy and some are very hard and challenging. My persuit of trying to "better myself" and/or improve my family's situation has been a hadfull but I am starting to see the benifits slowly.
Here are some of my goals and how they are progressing:

1) Start to manage our budget and recognize the need for one. This has actually, with a lot of greif at first, proven to be one of my goals I am happiest about. I came up with a system on the computer which I have found to be very effective. Yeah for computer litteracy!

2) Create a schedule for cleaning the house. (ie. Mondays-laundry Tuesdays-dusting etc.) This has been going OK for me except when the girls and I are out of the house for the day. I have to re-work my schedule and make it suite our active lifestyle.

3) Creating boundries for the phone. This one has been a challenge for me, but I have created a boundry for no talking on the phone in the afternoons. This doesn't always work, but I am not giving up on it.

4) Creating "time for mommy". This is more so in the evenings when Chad is home. I am getting better at this goal, but it needs some improvements.

5) Trying to spend one-on-one time with each of the girls during the day. This can be easy some days when is having full naps and Kira is having a day where she wants to play ing her room by herself for a while. Other days it is a lost cause because they both demand my attention at the same time.

To do list

My goal today is to clean house. We'll see how I do:

- wash dishes

- do some laundry including folding and putting away.

- clean bathroom.

- clean living room and prepare for steam cleaning it.

- make supper

- get a bottle ready for little monkey for tonight

List of things not to do while trying to complete to do list:

- not talk on the phone

- no T.V. time for mommy

- no stopping what I'm doing to pretend I'm a little girl. O.K, I can do it, but only for 1/2 an hour at a time. *

- no going on the computer, after I finish this blog of course!

- no reading, except for maybe the occasional quick book to the girlies. *

We'll see once again how much I can accomplish!



* it's not procrastination if you are playing with or reading to little girls.

wee girlies

Maryanne sent me the pics from when her and Chris were in town, enjoy these few pics of the girls. Pooky Bear and Chris got their haircut at the same time, so it was rather special and worthy of several pictures. The rest are on my Flickr page.

Back from the beach

The girls and I had an amazing time at the beach!
This is how we spent our week:
- playing on the beach
- ate Grandma's wonderful cooking. YUMMY!
- watching Celeste jump in the jolly jumper
- going into Govan with Papa
- taking Kira on her first horse-back ride
- swinging on the many swings out there
- enjoying a birthday supper for Alayne's 16th birthday (Kira made many presents for her)
- playing lots of card games into the wee hours of the morning
- Kira enjoyed going for coffee with Grandma and Grandpa every day
- making crafts (we actually ran out of beads, I didn't think that was possible!)
- I learnt how to quilt by hand (Kira actually demanded I "go quilt with the ladies, you'll like it mommae! I go too and make crafts" she actually gave me her green scissors to use, it was cute.
- went for several walks, double strollers are wonderful!
- Kira and I shopped at the garage sale twice (I found some amazing finds like a book about germany from 1915 and one from 1941. I picked them up for Auntie Mary but I started reading them myself and they are interesting reads. Kira bought a basket full of little toys which she still enjoys!)
- just relaxed and enjoyed the wonderful company!

Kira I think misses being out there, but she was happy to be home and enjoyed antagonizing Fizzgig the moment she walked in the door. (Fizzy loved it!) Celeste I think was happy to be home, she slept for 10 hours straight. Yeah! Nothing like sleeping in your own bed I guess. I am busy today doing laundry, and some light cleaning as Chad did most of it while we were gone. Yeah!

To the lake and beyond.....

The girls and I are once again going to the lake, only Arlington beach this time to go see my Grandma and Grandpa Mann. I think it will be a good time, I need some time to just relax and have fun and I can do that out there. No more cleaning, no more laundry, no more stinky daddy.....at least until Saturday...Ha Ha Ha!

on a positive note

My brother and his girl friend are coming over, it will be good to have company to keep my mind off of things. He had perfect timing......God does answer prayers

a true vent

My family and I are on a budget diet to get all of bills caught up and we can actually start to save money and become debt free. After a lot of prayer and consideration I sat down and created a budget. This month was supposed to be the hardest. Boy is it ever! I never imagined we would have to deal with the things we have had to and today proved no different. I feel satan it really trying to stop my family from becoming debt free and deal with our problems rather than our usually hide from them. I don't know if this is a test of faith or Satan is really trying to step in, I do know I am Pissed off about it! I am not going to give up the budget, but it keeps getting worse, so now next month will be a tough month again. Will it ever end?

It's wierd because I keep wondering if it is my stubborness that is keeping me on the budget or is it the fact I am so pissed off that I have to keep on the budget to prove we can do it. And oddly enough I wonder if faith has anything to do with my eagerness to keep with the budget because I know we are doing the right thing and God will have bigger plans for us once we tackle this huge task. I don't know. I just don't know.

violin

After taking a "what instrument are you?" test here are my results:

You scored as Violin.
You are a violin. Thoughtful and relaxed, you played a major role in the orchestra, and in people's live's. You have the perfect personality balance... not annoyingly cheerful, but not depressed. You think about the things you say, being honest, but gentle. You're very laid back, and rarely let anything get to you. People love you for your honesty and you're fun to hang out with!!

Prayer mania

Lately, I have been in almost constant quick prayer mode with everything. Everything Pooky bear is testing her boundries, I pray a quick prayer for strength. At every meal, a quick prayer thanking God for the food. Everytime Chad and I have a conflict, I pray profusely (for him mainly). When I check my e-mail to see how the missions trip is going for my friends in Shri-lanka, I pray quick prayers through out the day, because, wow, they need it! I found out my friend was having a bad head ache/migrane, I pray quick prayers for her. I am not one who normally feels the need to pray a lot. This is rather new to me. Am I finding answers to my prayers? Sometimes. As for the unanswered prayers, well, it all falls on hope and faith.

Bananas

I thought it was going to be a given that our Little Monkey was going to love bananas. Did I ever learn a lesson. Today, when I first gave her bananas, she looked up at me, as though to say, "what is this crap?", then proceeded to make a face which was half gagging and half sour face. It was so funny. So, I gave her more. (I can be so cruel at times) She made the face again, and I had to show her sister (who laughed hysterically) While Pooky bear and I were laughing, Little monkey managed to grab the food and tried to look for different food and looked at me with an angry face on her saying,"where's the real food?" I admit I actually apologized to her about not having any more food at snack time, then proceeded to give her more bananas. Oh that look! She did get smarter with that last mouthful as she would not open her mouth anymore to eat. Smart baby.

My speech lesson

Pooky bear and I got into a huge debate on how to pronounce Little monkey's name. It was quite humourous because she was talking the same way Chad and I do when we correct her speech:

"It's Sir-lest mommy"

"your close honey, it's Sul-lest; your getting better".

"Mommae, it's Sir-lest. Can you try to say that? Sir-lest"

"Sul-lest"

"Great job mommy, your getting better"

"But sweetie, listen to mommy, it's S-u-l-e-s-t"

"No mommy, it's Sir-lest"

"Pooky bear, mommy and daddy named her Sul-lest not Sir-lest"

"Great job mommy! You said it right!"

Argh!

Another basement day

Chad called me this morning at 9:30 a.m. advising me to take the girls downstairs today. The high for the day, he told me, is 39 degrees with the humidex. That is HOT! I then proceeded to check the current temp and it was already 33 degrees with the humidex. After a few quick phone calls, I cleaned the basement "living room" (including vacuuming) and took the girls downstairs. Pooky bear loves it because it is like a treat for her, but Little monkey is still not sure about the idea.

Tales of the day to come...

BIG house

Walking up to the girl's great grandma's apartment (which is 6 stories high) yesterday, Pooky bear says, "Wow! Great Gwama's house is BIG, bigger house! Let's go see her BIG house Mommae" We all thought it was cute, it reminded me of the time she thought her auntie Mary's little Toyota Tercel was a Big car. I can easily understand only being three feet tall how everything looks "BIG, Bigger".

Reality Check

These past few weeks have been full of hard doses of reality. No matter what I do, I feel God has a way of keeping me on track of his plans. I admit I have not been entirely focused on His plans for me, but rather making my own plans and hoping God likes it. It has been apparent with many aspects of my life that it is time to stop planning things and start trusting God to take care of what He has in store for me and my family. With all of this comes difficult confrontations with others. I have already started this, but I am no where near finished. The most difficult confrontation so far was myself.

I feel I have been dodging bullets in my life and it does not have to be that way. God has been teaching me, with His support, I can make it through any tough decision or confrontation. Being a person who normally prefers to run from my problems, I have found these last few weeks very hard. But when I am actually dealing with something I need to, it has been not as difficult as I thought it would be.

Now, I am finding myself praying and thinking a lot more about what to do or say about the next few things I have yet to deal with. I actually think the hardest part is the preparation and the initial start of the conversation or initial act of starting to properly take control of the situation.

I know when I am all finished, I will be incredibly relieved and thankful. Relieved for it to be over, and I can start focusing on the path which God wants me to follow. Thankful to God for opening my eyes.

"Open the eyes of my heart Lord, Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see You, I want to see You"

Mommy and little monkey Canada Day

Daddy and Pooky Bear Canada Day

if your ..... and you know it ......

Pooky bear and I were playing a silly version of "if your happy and you know it" and I sugested to sing, "If your tired and you know it, go to sleep". Pooky bear responded with, "Are you nuts?!"

dilemma

My husband called me, after I just got home from dropping off my brother at the bus depot, and asks me to bring him and his co-workers "lots and lots of Cokes". My delema is I just got the fussy Pooky bear off to bed for a nap. Do I wake up Pooky bear and bring my dehydrated husband and his buddies Cokes, or do I make them wait until Pooky bear wakes up on her own, then bring them Cokes. My daughters moodiness or my husband dehydrating.....hmm

Things to do today

- At least 3 loads of laundry including folding and putting away (I will do this)

- pack some of Celeste's clothes she no longer fits away (She has more clothes than Chad and I combined)

- wash Celeste's dishes (the rest can wait until tonight)

- give "Pooky Bear" a bath, and maybe our "little monkey" as well

- make sure through out the day no one is hungry (this can be a tedious task as both girls are in the middle of a growth spirt)

- get myself, and the girls dressed before 3 p.m. (today I will make it!)

- work on our budget for the next 3 months (Argh!)

- play with Kira and Celeste (it's always fun to pretend I am little again)

- start cleaning "mommy and daddy's messy room" (to get Kira off our backs!)

- start supper (I'm thinking chicken?)

- call Kyla (she wants to come to the cabin with us tomorrow for a day trip)

- turn ringer off to help me stay on task (as long as I remember to keep checking the phone to see who called)


We will see how much I get done!

Insomnia

Celeste is sleeping through the night (for the most part). Now my only problem is convincing my body to go to sleep. I hate the act of trying to get to sleep, I think way too much and toss and turn which I have discovered has proven to be bad for my body, just ask my chiropractor.
On the plus side to my insomnia is I get to listen to the thunder shower happening right now. It sounds peaceful and brings a refreshing smell. It is also cooling the house off wonderfully. Yeah!

Now, if only I were my husband who falls asleep listening to thunder showers....

How to weave a web

Sleepless nights means hours of too much thinking about sleep. Which I have concluded makes you even more tired. So then, you try not thinking about sleep but only to find out it makes you only think of sleep. Oh the vicious tangled web I weaved last night.

We are spontaneous

I realized how spontaneous my family are this week end. We ended up doing things I never even thought of doing this week end (except picking up our stuff from the cabin, but I never knew what time).
Friday, when Chad came home from work, we left for the cabin to pick up the things. We were literally back in an hour and a half. That was crazy to me, not so crazy for Chad given last week, however. When we got back, Chad's friends and my brother came over to play cards. They didn't leave until 2:00 a.m. ( I went to bed at 1:00 a.m.)

Saturday was the crazy day. I was supposed to go garage saling with Chad, but I ended up going downtown with my Mom. Then while I was out my friend called me up and said her sister wanted my family to join all of them at Buffalo Pound today/night. Being the spontaneous family we apparently are, we went. I have to say we all had a good time. Spontanuity is a good thing.

Sunday was supposed to be a quiet day at home cleaning, but Chad wanted to go look at garage sales but then my Dad called on my cell phone telling me to go over there. His best friend was in from out of town with his daughter and grandchildren. So, we quickly went over there. After that I went shopping with my Mom again. So much for a quiet day cleaning. Oh Well!

Things you forget in a rush

Things I forgot at the cabin:

- 3/4 of our fresh food and a lot of dry/canned food.

- 3/4 of Kira's summer wardrobe including underwear

- Celeste's bouncy chair

- Most of Kira's favourite toys, but thankfully we remembered her "baby"

- My favourite sandals and shoes

- all of Celeste's bottles and food including formula. (thank goodness I breast feed)

- Kira's favourite movies including, "Little Mermaid" (I'm not entirely missing that one!)

- baby bath and water toys

Along with these things and numerous other things means another trip to the lake very soon. I don't think we will be staying over night, but it will be good to pick up our things.

One Crazy Summer

These past few weeks have been a little caotic. We finally bought a van, it wasn't the original van we were thinking of, but none the less it is a good mini-van (now that it is back from the auto body shop!). We were suposed to leave for the lake on SundayJuly 2, but we didn't make it out their until Tuesday. At least we made it there! We spent last week there then came back. Kira was missing the cabin so much, the girls and I went back to the cabin this week. It was a wonderful week, my Grandma came out and stayed the night...fun times were had by all. A twist of fate changed that last night:

Celeste started having breathing problems out there. I was just monitoring it for a while to see if it would happen again, which it did. I then called Chad to come pick us up (Thank God the cabin is only 35 minutes outside of the city) When we got into town I got the, "She's fine now" from everyone, but I was still worried. When Chad finally saw her struggling to breathe, then he believed me. I guess he is one of those "see it to believe it" people.

After that we went to the hospital emergency, only to be greeted by a triage nurse telling me she is just teething and I am a mom who worries too much. I aggree I do worry too much, but I know not to mess with a babies respiratory system. We ended up seeing a doctor with in 30 minutes, rather than the 4 hour wait everyone else had. The doctor ordered a chest x-ray, consulted a pediatrician and it was decided Celeste was to stay over night for observation. I have to say I was a little releaved because I knew I would not have gotten any sleep if I went home, I would have stayed up all night and watched her breathing. We were officially admitted into her room at 2:00 a.m. to which they hooked her up to a machine that monitored her oxygen and heart rate. God bless the people/person who invented that machine!

Our night was rough. She was up at 5:00 a.m., then at 6:00 p.m. when the pediatrician came to see her, then at 8:00 a.m. She has a chest cold and when she lied on her back the mucus and fluid come up to her throat and literally choke her. She has not had that problem when we were there, but it happened too many times before we got to the hospital, that is why they wanted to keep her for observation. So, after several viewings of baby einstein, many walks around the ward, and Celeste in an excersauser; we were given the go ahead to go home after lunch. Yeah!

So we are all home now with most of the girls and my stuff at the lake, but I am very thankful Celeste is going to be O.K. Am I a paranoid mom, probably....but at least I know that Celeste is going to be fine.

God just keeps reminding me that he is in control of things and I need to keep trusting him. One of these days I will fully learn.

I love basements

The tempature outside is 29 degrees but feels like 37 degrees. The girls and I are "chilling" in the basement. I am so happy we set up the basement to have a play area for Kira, a living room area (equiped with tv and surround sound), a table for eating at, and a office. All it needs now is a small kitchen and a bathroom and we would have it made!

Kira and I are beating the heat by "play" baking, making a card for my mother-in-law's birthday today (lesson learned: don't get married on your one of your parents birthdays), eating every kind of healthy/non-healthy food that does not involve cooking, colouring, doing laundry (another lesson learned: you get more laundry done when you are on the same floor as the washer/dryer because it is no longer "out of site out, of mind"), being on the computer, and reading tons of stories.

Celeste just finally, after 5 hours of fighting sleeping in the playpen, fell asleep. The best thing about that is she put herself to sleep while in the playpen. Yeah, I feel it is a great acomplishment. Crouds should be cheering now. Yeah
"Thank you"
"Thank you"

Anniversary

Well, it's my fourth year anniversary today, Celeste did not do well with the heat and her teeth last night, so this morning, Chad and I both were not much in the mood for celebrating, if you know what I mean. Oh, to be a parent.

This year we are not giving gifts because we just put a deposit on a "new to us" van. Happy Anniversary to us!, We are officially mini-van family....ironically, it is everything my husband was against. He did not want to be "that family" I, however, am glowing at the fact it will not take 2 trips to the cabin to hawl everything. Getting a mini-van, I think, is the next step after having the second child. Chad, on the other hand can't wait until the van's paid off and he can pick the next car. Fortunately, that will be a while.

Some things never change

Today has been filled with cleaning, talking to the usual people on the phone, and feeding a growing toddler and baby. It's funny to realize that this is a normal Monday morning for me. I was just realizing that my anniversary is in 3 days and 4 years ago I was worried about making chocolates, cutting tule, finishing tieing way too many bows and trying to please my family. I have to say trying to please my family was the hardest of the tasks, and unfortunately I still have that same problem. I guess it is true when they say, "some things never change".

Here are some things that in 4 years have not changed with me:

- I still hate washing dishes

- I still talk on the phone lots

- I still enjoy the same movies and watch them over and over...I have just added a few new ones to the mix

- When people come over, I still say, "Don't mind the mess"

- I still wear some of the same clothes, a "what not to wear" no-no, but oh well

- I still watch "ER" and "Gilmore Girls" faithfully

- I still dream

- I still believe in God, but my faith has grown stronger

- I still experience a wide range of emotions, just more so with extra horomones in my body

- I still try to help anyone who needs help

- and I still am surrounded by people who love me

Celeste and Jacob

Here is a picture of Celeste and her first "boyfriend", Jacob.

Polish weddings

things I learnt since attending a polish wedding:

- It is nice to be able to go to a wedding not pregnant

- Having the ability to understand polish is a good asset attending the wedding

- 1/4 of the ceremony is in polish

- Try to have a back up babysitter incase the planned babysitter is not home

- When the bride and groom enter the reception everyone stands and sings a polish song

- a true polish wedding has an open bar

- Vodka is pronouced "Voodka" and "voodka" originated in Poland

- There is dance music in polish

- Everyone, including great-grandma, dances to polka

- You can easily count the sober people (including myself)

- When you take your baby to get a diaper change, don't be surprised to have several ladies approach you and talk to your baby in Polish

- Expect by the end of the night you will have talked to every parent with children the same age as yours or younger

- Don't ask for hot water to heat up a bottle, just go to the bathroom and run it under hot water

- Watch out for little children on the dance floor, especially during "Rasputin".

- When your three year old is done dancing and is ready for bed, she'll tell you

- It's O.K to skip bed time routine after a wedding

- a 5 month old baby will get sensory overload after a wedding and will not go to bed until 2:30 a.m.

- gift openings are in polish too!

Kira

Celeste

game

I love how children can invent games in the matter of seconds. Kira, while walking home from getting ice cream, invented a game in which you had to tell if the fence post was up or down.
At each post Kira would say," that one's still up" or "that was fell down".
There was a fence post every 4 feet.
When she started to play the game, she said to me, "this is a great game mommy, I had a great idea!"
About 16 feet into the game, she said, "Now your turn mommy". So, I proceeded to play the game. After my turn, Kira said to me, "Great job mommy, you play the game good".
Once the game was over, she commented, "great game mommy, we have to play tomordow"
It's these momments that remind me it is fun to have a toddler around.

Celeste slept through the night!!!!

It's funny how sleep can affect who you are as a person. Last night Celeste slept from 10:45 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.....YEAH! I actually woke up before her, that was a first for me with the two girls. I am well rested today, got laundry started, did dishes and dusted - all before noon! I am so rested we are actually going for a walk this afternoon.(provided it does not rain). I am looking forward to it.
lesson learnt: sleep is VERY good, lack of sleep can be detrimental to anyone directly involved with the person lacking sleep.
That being said, here's hoping Celeste sleeps through the night tonight.

"I want"

Today, Chad and I tried to curve the "I want" phase. It has been semi-working. We decided that when ever she asks for something using "I want ..." the answer was going to be an automatic "no". I was having no problems today executing the rule, however when Chad got home the rule quickly had exceptions to it. ie. "Daddy, I want a doughnut". Chad responds with, "no, you can not have a doughnut when you ask for it that way". Kira then responds with, "Daddy, please I have a doughnut". Chad, not knowing what to do, says ask your mommy. So Kira said, "but daddy, I want a doughnut". Chad still not knowing what to do, repeated "ask your mommy" , so, Kira asked nicely, but I still said no because she kept using the "I want phrase". Kira then went to Chad and said, "Daddy, please can you tell mommy to give me a doughnut" Chad and I laughed so hard we did end up giving her half of a doughnut. I don't know if we acomplished anything, but we thought it was funny.

11:30pm and can't sleep

Well, I just spent the last 2 hours washing dishes, steralizing bottles, feeding Celeste, and watching my embarasing addiction, Reba; and finally putting Celeste to bed for the night (hopefully). While doing all of this I am thinking to myself, "I can't wait for this baby stage to be over". To some it may sound harsh, but I really am looking forward to times where I can play actual games with the kids (other than the My Little Pony game and Memory). I can't wait to play with the girls, have make-overs with them, let them experiment (safely) in the kitchen, the mother daughter talks, the special trips I have planned for them and helping them discover things safely and the wonderful chores I have planned for them...hee hee hee!
I just want this baby/toddler stuff over with, I mean, don't get me wrong, I love watching the girls grow, and I marvel at how quickly they have grown. I also have been caught making comments about missing holding Kira as a baby and Celeste being a wee little one only 7lbs. But lately, due to the lack of sleep I have gotten and the insomnia I have when I should be sleeping, I look at old pictures and marvel at their cuteness and then remember the lack of sleep. Am I doomed to be the sleepless Mom forever? I know I won't, but it feels that way.
One thing I have to say, even with the lack of sleep, I wouldn't trade my daughters for anything. They are a true blessing from God. They will test my limits, show me a wide range of emotions in the span of 5 minutes, and teach me new things daily. And I show them unconditional love, guidance and encouragement. As a parent, I now have a slightly bigger understanding of how God feels towards us. We are His children. What and awesome thing!

lack of sleep can cause this: what they don't tell you in the parenting books

Today was a caotic day. Celeste was up every 2 hours last night and Kira was very tired this morning so she was tantruming all morning, basically. This afternoon we wanted to go say good bye to Auntie Mary at the airport. Kira was crying literally 5 minutes before we had to go because she did not want to clean her room and get ready to go ( I asked her to do this 45 minutes before we had to leave). I was so tempted to not go, but I realized how important it was for Kira to understand what happens to Auntie Mary when she leaves. So, we went. Kira was very good upon arrival, saying good bye to Auntie Mary, watching and waving to Auntie Mary's plane, and walking from the window where we watched the plane. And then she got upset. She started saying she was hungry, I acknowledged her hunger and told her we were going to get something to eat. Well, she did not like that and flopped to the floor to pout. I convinced her to get up, but she kept doing it 3 more times. By the third time I'm upset and we were running out of time for parking meter. So, I tried to prevent "the flop" by hold her hand more firm....(I won't do that again) She started screaming I was hurting her....let's just say I ended up picking her up and had Celeste in the snuggly on the way out of the airport. Screamed all the way to my brother's house where I went to get support before I "hurt" Kira more.

After that things went realitively O.K. Kira was still moody, but she was also really tired...I am starting to think she is waking up too when Celeste wakes up. So, hopefully Celeste has a good sleep tonight. Tonight, Chad could tell I had a hard day, so he was extra supportive, thank goodness. We also had a good talk about what we are going to do with Kira and her"I want ......" phase. We will see how that goes tomorrow. I'll let you know.