From taking a spiritual gifts workshop, my homework was to evaluate my experiences through life, including the painful ones. For some reason, this is harder to accept. I have a hard time grasping the thought that all the pain I went through as a child was intended by God to give me experience. I understand that He uses our experiences as tools for our spiritual gifts, my confusion is that isn't there another way to gain experience without pain. The answer is no, but I look at my children and I don't want any kind of pain upon them what so ever. Is that physically possible? Of course not. But I still struggle with the knowledge that He wants us to experience it. Does He cry when we are in pain? I like to think so.
As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.
Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.
I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.
After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.
I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?
The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?
That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.
As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.
Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.
I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.
After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.
I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?
The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?
That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.
One of my favourite songs:
Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.
Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.
And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right.
It'll be fine lover of mine.
It'll be just fine.
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.
Fill your lives with love and bravery,
And you shall lead a live uncommon
I've heard you anguish
I've heard you hearts cry out
We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out,
Set down you chains, until only faith remains
Set down you chains
And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
There are plenty of people who pray for peace
But if praying were enough it would have come to be
Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves
To hear out voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom
sounds of freedom
Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give; To live
And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead... Lend out voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lent out strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
Life uncommon by Jewel
4 comments:
I can't remember where the Bible verse is (my Bible's in the other room), but there's a verse that said that Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. God doesn't like to see us suffer and in pain, but He also knows what we need.
I really learned a lot from Philip Yancy's book Where is God When It Hurts?. He looks at the challenges that pain presents to our faith. He looks at pain from a lot of perspectives. First, he looks at the physical: a lot of times, pain isn't the problem. The cause of the pain is the problem. The inability to feel any pain (such as happens with leprosy) is a huge problem, because pain sends off warning signals for us and serves other useful purposes.
He also shows a bunch of places where Jesus taught how to approach pain and suffering: not to ask "why," but to ask "To what end?" To ask "How can you use this in my life, Lord? What can I learn? How can this shape me?"
I think you are right in asking "to what end?" and " how can I use this in my life, Lord? But it is still frustrating. I do like your example of the inability to feel pain, because you are right, pain sends off signals for us and we in turn can use it to help others, however, what about those who don't? Did they go through pain for nothing, or just a hope from God that they would use their pain for the good?
I am just working out everything, because, as I said earlier, I know the answers, I just don't always 100% understand them, I just came to the conclusion, it's alright. I know it is not right to test God, I am frustated on how much he tests us.
We are human and with that have human faults. Is that the nature He created in us? I have a hard time I guess accepting it, because I feel, to accept it is to accept God wants us to experience pain and suffering, I wouldn't want that for my child. I think it hurt Him to see Jesus go through all the pain. When is it enough, when does someone finally "get it". Only the Lord knows that. It doesn't make it any less frustrating to me.
The Lord is going to give us warning signals through many events in our lives, the hard part is recognizing them and accepting them as a gift from God.
I know that I don't have all the answers. And I don't think that it's possible to have all the answers. God has them all, and He teaches us, but I know very much that these questions that you're asking are really hard questions that we have to face.
I think that it hurt God for Him to have His Son have to go through all that suffering and (worse than the physical pain) have people reject Him and the truth. But He had the end goal in sight, and the pain that Jesus suffered at the time were nothing compared to the triumph and His resurrection.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18)
I don't think it's an easy equation of "God wills this pain to happen, and he wants you to learn this specific lesson and then it will all be better." But I also know that He's also taking really good care of us, and provides us with everything that we need, and promises us healing.
But there's nowhere that God promised us a painless existence. He wants growth from us, and He wants us to put Him above all else and to obey and love Him above all else. And He wants us to experience real joy, real peace, His real love, and He wants to shower blessings on us.
I know. It's not simple. And that's just the beginning of it. What can we expect, from a Savior who was fully man and fully God at the same time? There's a lot that we can't always fully wrap our minds around.
I love your last sentence,
"There's a lot we can't always fully wrap our minds around"
That somes up everything!
Thanks :)
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