From taking a spiritual gifts workshop, my homework was to evaluate my experiences through life, including the painful ones. For some reason, this is harder to accept. I have a hard time grasping the thought that all the pain I went through as a child was intended by God to give me experience. I understand that He uses our experiences as tools for our spiritual gifts, my confusion is that isn't there another way to gain experience without pain. The answer is no, but I look at my children and I don't want any kind of pain upon them what so ever. Is that physically possible? Of course not. But I still struggle with the knowledge that He wants us to experience it. Does He cry when we are in pain? I like to think so.
As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.
Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.
I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.
After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.
I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?
The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?
That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.
As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.
Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.
I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.
After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.
I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?
The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?
That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.
One of my favourite songs:
Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.
Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.
And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right.
It'll be fine lover of mine.
It'll be just fine.
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.
Fill your lives with love and bravery,
And you shall lead a live uncommon
I've heard you anguish
I've heard you hearts cry out
We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out,
Set down you chains, until only faith remains
Set down you chains
And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
There are plenty of people who pray for peace
But if praying were enough it would have come to be
Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves
To hear out voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom
sounds of freedom
Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give; To live
And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead... Lend out voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lent out strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
Life uncommon by Jewel
