Gifts

I don't understand how taking a class, which is supposed to help determine what your spiritual gifts are and how you are going to use them, has made me more confused than helpful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the class and conducted a lot of research as a result of the class, however, I don't feel I have truly "unleashed my niche". It's one thing to understand one's identity and personality, it is entirely another thing to put it into perspective and use it for the "greater good".

I believe part of my confusion is that I keep second guessing myself. I like to evaluate things until I fully understand them. The problem with determining spiritual gifts is you are not supposed to second guess. You are suposed to use your gut instinct rather than your thoughts. This is where I am bad for taking tests such as these. The solution the module has for situations like this is to have someone else take the test as though they are you. This is good, but I feel, has its weeknesses too.

When I take a test on personality, you really have to focus on who you actually are, and not on who you want to be. This can be done, but subconsciously one is natually inclined to persieve themselves to be who they want to be anyway. Their minds are going to give examples to support their thoughts and have the ability to give direct references who will verify their thoughts. The same can be said for people who are going to take the test for you. They are going to answer, not necessarily intentionally, who they think and percieve you are to them. At this point who is right?

I believe everyone has multiple identies. To my children I am their nurturer, caregiver, organizer, provider, supporter, boundry enforcer, maid, cook, and driver. These don't even come close to all the characteristics it takes to be their mom. Am I these characteristics to everyone? No. Do I enjoy every characteristic it takes to be their mom? Maybe not all the time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

When I am serving in a ministry, I am several different characteristics. I am not these characteristics all the time, but for that time, I am. I am a woman trying to serve God in a different way other than being a mom or a wife. This is why it is hard for other people to evaluate my personality. There is no one physical person who is a witness to all of my identities. My husband is not always there to witness me serving in certain ministries, he knows my tendencies, but is not always there. The same goes for friends of mine, they are not their at night when Chad and I are parenting our children before bed. And all of this Ok, but hopefully one can see how confused I am when I am trying to determine what my spiritual gifts are.

To try and help determine what my real gifts are I selected 2 people to help take the tests for me. My husband, of course, and my spiritual buddy who knows my tendencies as well. With the three of us I know I can get a better result, however, it is difficult still because they have the subconsious ability to respond to how they want me to be, not how I actually am. This is where I wish the Holy Spirit, who knows and understands the complete me, could just tell me where to go and what to do.

My prayer is for Him to just use me as a tool and use me to my full potential. I know He will open and close doors for me. I am more than willing to listen, especially now. I just hope my bias does not interfere with, what I perceive, God wants me to do with my gifts.

"Use me, oh God!
See my strengths and embrace them,
see my weaknesses as experience,
see my body as a tool for you,
see my mind and influence it,
I am yours.
Use me, Oh God!

Stories about Santa lies

Little monkey and Santa today


Stories about "santa lies"


I have been having problems with the "Santa lies" which has to be created in order for your children to believe in him. For example, I was at Wal-mart last night and a little girl saw that I had a Littlest Petshop Playground in my cart. Her mom reminded the little girl that she received Littlest Petshop last year. I almost said, "Well my daughter knows santa is working on it, so I had to get it for her". When I started to say this, I realized I could potentially wreck the "idea of santa" for this little girl. If it was my own daughter at her age, I would have told her the truth as we have been already leading into the fact he is not real; however, she was not my daughter, so I had to make some quick cover detailing that my daughter has been wanting the Littlest Petshop Playground for a while now. The mom could obviously tell I was about to blow the "santa lie" and when she walked away she mouthed the words, "thank you". I think I did the right thing.

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Pooky bear is way too smart for her own good! Today, even after we have gone over many times that the santa she sees is not the "real santa", Pooky bear while sitting on santa's lap, was asked what she wanted for Christmas. She cheekily replied, "don't you know santa?, you've been working on it?" Santa's reply was "I want to hear again to make sure I don't get it right" Pooky bear, very snarky at this point, replied, "I want Littlest Petshop" (she said it in a tone resembling a "Duh!" sound. I laughed so hard it hurt!

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While sitting in the Dr's office tonight with my oldest daughter, I noticed she saw a picture of Santa on the wall. I looked at the picture and saw Santa sitting in a row boat with a bunch of animal friends and toys.
I asked my daughter, "What does santa ride in?"
"He rides in a sleigh, he can't ride in a boat, cause he couldn't get to my house!"
She had the whole waiting room laughing including the staff!
I would have never thought that's why santa does not ride in a boat.
That girl is definitely too smart for her own good!

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Chad and I are trying to create more of an idea of Santa with the intention of teaching the girls, when they are old enough, where santa came from and why people celebrate santa. When that happens we will not have presents under the tree from santa, but a chance to draw names and have more of a "secret santa" with emphasis on doing something nice for someone. Our plan is, a week before Christmas, we will draw names and everyone will have to do something nice for that person each day leading up to Christmas. On Christmas eve, everyone will fill the stockings of the person they drew. We want to encourage the kids to make something rather than buying the gift. I think this is a good compromise to the "santa idea" and reminds children that the real St. Nicholas did something nice for some girls, not to get praise, but to do, esscencially, what Jesus would do-help those in need. This is the santa idea we want to teach, but it is not easy for a three year old to understand.

We both have told her the santa she sees is not real, but she talks to him like he is. Maybe it's because we still are telling her to sit on his lap and he is the one asking what she wants, or maybe it is the other children and all the propaganda in support of santa around her, I am not sure, but it is cute all the comments she makes as she is learning. I think we sill start focusing on our beliefs when Little monkey if 4 or 5. I don't want to wreck the "santa experience" too soon. We'll see what happens.

Another cute story

"Look Brandy! Little monkey is playing with me!"

"That's great! I am so happy the two of you are having fun together."

"But, I'm not a toy!?"

Why can't I see Jesus?

After praying my daughter asked,

"Mommy, why can't I see Jesus?"

Thinking of answer quickly, I replied,

"That's because Jesus is our hearts."

She paused for a momment and commented,

"Oh, Jesus must be sleeping then, because I can't hear him."

Super cleaning Thursday

We've been so busy lately, I admit my cleaning has been not as fine tuned as I would like it to be, so, I have decided I am going to host another, "super clean your house" day! I am going to update my list to keep track of my accomplishments.
My goals today:

- Laundry- get as many loads done as possible, this must include folding and putting away clothing. did 3 complete loads, the nice thing is that I can only go as fast as the washer will let me.

- Dishes - wash until every dish in this house is clean. Yeah I started!

- Litter box - I don't think anyone wants details to this one. Done

- vacuum- this includes hallway and bedrooms Doing when the kids are up from their naps

- sort miscellaneous stuff and have the attitude of "keep, sell, toss" have started, so far I have 1/2 a box full of stuff to get trid of and 1/2 a bag of garbage. Wow do we have a lot of stuff!

- empty all garbages in house done

We will see what I get done, who knows, I may be able to actually complete this list!

Some pics of the concert Sunday

The quality is not great but you can still see how cute the girls are in their pretty dresses.

Insomnia

I am tired, but can not sleep. Tomorrow I am going to pay for it! I have been up for the last hour playing with the pictures we took today from Pooky Bear's pagent at church. I am also listening to Pandora.com( http://www.pandora.com/ )radio.

Pandora is very cool. You pick a song or artist you want to listen to and they pick songs which relate to that and play only that genre. I am pretty pumped because a found a radio with worship music to dance music. I so have to play this for Pooky bear, who loves her baby techno dance cd. I have been trying to find fun ways to introduce worship music to my girls at their level. I did discover that Blessings has a video and music collection called "God Made Babies ". It's kind of like baby einstein but with biblical references and worship music. Little monkey is getting a video for Christmas. I love Blessings http://www.blessings.com/ .

I'm all about being a free advertiser tonight. Oh well! Enjoy!

Newest pics

Newest pics of Pooky Bear and Little Monkey

T'is the season to be busy

I think as Pooky bear gets older, we get busier and busier. I actually admit I like it. This is what I have wanted for my children. I just hope they like it too, or things will have to change. With Christmas parties, pageant rehearsals, soccer and Christmas pageants, our weekends are packed with things to do. It is truly great! It may sound weird, but it keeps us from a boring weekend of not knowing what to do.

I remember when Pooky bear was little, Chad and I wouldn't know what to do on the weekends. We often would stay home. Now, with all of the activities, we are often out of the house before 9 or 10 am. We are getting more house cleaning done, because we are forced to put it into our schedule or else it won't get done. This is a very good thing!

I do have to say I am not getting any major cleaning time, but that just means I need to set aside a day of cleaning. I think tomorrow afternoon and into the evening I will work on my basement. I kind of wrecked any organization I had down there trying to look for my missing Christmas boxes (which I found by the way and my tree looks fabulous!). I could probably start doing it now, but Pooky bear and I have to leave in an hour and I feel like procrastinating instead. Moms need a break too. Did I mention everyone in my house, except me, are sleeping right now in between activities. I would be sleeping to, but I had coffee at Tim Horton's while getting Pooky bear's free drink.

Hats off to Tim Hortons, because they sponsor her soccer team, they give every player a free drink after they are done playing, they just have to show their shirt. Pretty cool! Pooky bear loves it, and I'm loving it too because I am in need of a good cup of coffee after being the assistant coach for her team. Coffee is a good thing!

Trying to keep up with appearances

It's my family tradition to set the Christmas tree the first weekend of December, it is nice because it also coinsides with the start of advent. Chad and I decided it would be a godd idea to have a set time in which we do it, that way there is little procrastination from Chad and me not putting the tree up in the middle of November. It works well for us, Pooky bear and little monkey had a blast too!

We set up the tree, which sadly is beginning to break down, and put the lights and some decorations only to discover we couldn't find a box of Christmas decorations. My tree right now is wilting at the top because the angel, which I normally use for decoration on my end table, is too big. Chad said we shouldn't put the angel up at all, but I commented that it isn't a Christmas tree with out a tree topper. Which I know sounds weird, but it wouldn't be the same; so, now I am trying to find the mysterious box which went missing and making decorations to help my poor tree look normal again.

It's a struggle trying to make my tree look like it used to. I'm missing all of the bows I hand made to replace garland and a lot of my ordaments I made as a child. I am happy we have the ones Pooky bear made last year, but it is not the same. I keep looking at pictures of my tree in previous years and feel sad it does not look the same.

Will this affect my Christmas? Of course not. If anything, I think I will get the kids to help me make new decorations for the tree to help with its lack of ordaments and bows. It still looks pretty when the lights are on.

helpful

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

Experiences

From taking a spiritual gifts workshop, my homework was to evaluate my experiences through life, including the painful ones. For some reason, this is harder to accept. I have a hard time grasping the thought that all the pain I went through as a child was intended by God to give me experience. I understand that He uses our experiences as tools for our spiritual gifts, my confusion is that isn't there another way to gain experience without pain. The answer is no, but I look at my children and I don't want any kind of pain upon them what so ever. Is that physically possible? Of course not. But I still struggle with the knowledge that He wants us to experience it. Does He cry when we are in pain? I like to think so.

As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.

Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.

I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.

After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.

I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?

The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?

That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.

One of my favourite songs:

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.

And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right.

It'll be fine lover of mine.

It'll be just fine.

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.

Fill your lives with love and bravery,

And you shall lead a live uncommon

I've heard you anguish

I've heard you hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out,

Set down you chains, until only faith remains

Set down you chains

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

There are plenty of people who pray for peace

But if praying were enough it would have come to be

Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves

To hear out voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom

sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way

there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith

To live, we must give; To live

And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill your lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead... Lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lent out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

Life uncommon by Jewel

Pictures

I can not upload any more pics on my flikr site, so I thought I would put more on my blog......

Enjoy! (Especially Auntie Mary)

A moment

I am taking a small moment to relax before the chaos begins with the kids coming back from pre-school and getting ready to head up to Saskatoon. There is a lot that needs to be done, but I have decided to take it slowly. I am not packing for the cabin this time and we are only going to be gone 2 nights at the max. So therefore, I can sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet.

I found in the past I can't pack days in advance. I do much better with starting my list in advance; then on the day of or night before, if necessary, I pack. I think today I am going to prove that stress is not necessary when packing last minute for a trip. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to start packing last week. I am not like that. I would actually forget more things if I packed that far in advance. My problem with packing too soon, is I will pack something, then realize I still need it and forget to put it back after, thus forgetting it.

Don't get me wrong, I will forget something. I am not that good at packing. Who is? Funny enough, I actually think Pooky bear will be a great packer, because she makes sure you don't forget anything she needs or especially wants. It will be interesting to see what happens when she gets older.

By the way, if I never mentioned before, Pooky bear can't wait to go to Saskatoon. The last time we were there was a day trip when she was 18 months old. This time, we are giving Pooky bear the MP3 player so we don't have to listen to Sharon, Lois and Bram all the way up. I have to say this trip will be significantly different from the last trip to Saskatoon. We are actually driving our own vehicle. That is really surreal to us. Although we miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car" (a 1986 2 door Tercel with duct tape covering the rust on it. It was a good thing the car was silver to "hide" the duct tape), it will be good to drive the mini van with all of its space and cd player with am/fm radio. "Auntie Mary's BIG car" only had an am radio, so we brought my cd player from grade 10 with lots of batteries. It's funny, I really do miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car", however, I am glad to have a car to call my own.

Now that I have gone down memory lane I just remembered things I need to add to my list. So I guess my relaxing time is over.

To everyone, have a great week end!

hands

Hands can be little or big, but they still can do so much.
I love my daughters!!

new pics

procrastination at its finest

My friend Cinder did this on her blog, so I thought I'd try:

The things in bold are the things I’ve done! Copy it and publish your list!!Make bold what you've done then copy and paste into your blog post. Easy-schmeezy!
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (well at the Lake)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 50 states
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked in Europe
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theater
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75 Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
77. Lost over 100 pounds
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be "sick"
90. Surfed in the ocean
91. Saved someone's life
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone else is giving birth
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Grand Canyon
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Rode an elephant

I'm a Timbit too!

I am now the official coach for the Timbits' North Zone Soccer Rider Team 4 and under category. No one else wanted the job, so of course I volunteered! The awesome thing is now I know all of the children's names and had them cheering (in unison), "GO RIDERS, GO!" It was great.

My Pooky bear did better this game. She actually played each of her turns right until the last minute where she decided she was tired and just stopped playing, so I sent in another player for the last minute, she cried so hard about me sending in someone else. Oh well, she has to learn. On her defense she had her first sleep over at her friends house last night which ended up in an awake over. Then she had to come to soccer in the morning with her friends with no nap before hand.

She had fun though at the awake over, I on the other hand missed her like crazy. I kept asking Chad if we should go over there to say good night, or at least call her. He had the level head to remind me it might agitate Pooky bear about us not being there. I did sneak in a call at 9 to find out how they went to bed though. Apparently at 4 am they woke up and would not go back to sleep until 6 am. Pooky bear had such big bags in her eyes in the morning!

You know she's really tired when she asked to have a nap when we got home. I think we will settle back into our routine pretty easy after her nap. I don't think we have another awake over for a while now, especially because it is our turn to host it next!

Remembrance Day

Today I thinks the kids and I are going to make "peace hands" to help remind me about tomorrow and teach the children about tomorrow. It's hard to explain to the kids about Remembrance day. I don't want it to be just a day where people wear poppies, and maybe watch a service on TV. How do you really teach the kids about what happened? I can teach them about peace in their world with friends and family. They have no clue about much else. I think maybe that is a good thing for now. Innocence is a virtue in this case.

another goal day

Today's goals include:
Update at 4:55pm in red

- no answering the phone with exceptions being Chad and Dr's office (I caved and answered the phone when auntie mary called, but she lives in BC, so other exceptions can be made)

- no TV past 8:30 am (this worked for everyone except for little monkey who is teething very badly and needed some baby enstein at nearly 4pm)

- wash dishes (check)

- see how a toddler I babysit will do with out her Sucky at nap time (did surprisingly well, we'll see how tonight turned out)

- do laundry *including putting it away (I did laundry and put away laundry, but I am not finished yet)

- clean and vacuum living room (Cleaned but not vacuumed)

- make a craft with the kids this afternoon (did not happen, will have to make a point of doing so tomorrow)

- host a dance party this afternoon complete with dress up clothes and everything (Did not due because of behaviours)

- tidy up entrace way (I hate this job) (still procrastinated on, but one day it will get done)

We will see how it goes, so far it is going well, but the day is not over.