These past few weeks have been full of hard doses of reality. No matter what I do, I feel God has a way of keeping me on track of his plans. I admit I have not been entirely focused on His plans for me, but rather making my own plans and hoping God likes it. It has been apparent with many aspects of my life that it is time to stop planning things and start trusting God to take care of what He has in store for me and my family. With all of this comes difficult confrontations with others. I have already started this, but I am no where near finished. The most difficult confrontation so far was myself.
I feel I have been dodging bullets in my life and it does not have to be that way. God has been teaching me, with His support, I can make it through any tough decision or confrontation. Being a person who normally prefers to run from my problems, I have found these last few weeks very hard. But when I am actually dealing with something I need to, it has been not as difficult as I thought it would be.
Now, I am finding myself praying and thinking a lot more about what to do or say about the next few things I have yet to deal with. I actually think the hardest part is the preparation and the initial start of the conversation or initial act of starting to properly take control of the situation.
I know when I am all finished, I will be incredibly relieved and thankful. Relieved for it to be over, and I can start focusing on the path which God wants me to follow. Thankful to God for opening my eyes.
"Open the eyes of my heart Lord, Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see You, I want to see You"
I am a mom who is learning to adapt everyday to the challenges of raising two daughters.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
if your ..... and you know it ......
Pooky bear and I were playing a silly version of "if your happy and you know it" and I sugested to sing, "If your tired and you know it, go to sleep". Pooky bear responded with, "Are you nuts?!"
dilemma
My husband called me, after I just got home from dropping off my brother at the bus depot, and asks me to bring him and his co-workers "lots and lots of Cokes". My delema is I just got the fussy Pooky bear off to bed for a nap. Do I wake up Pooky bear and bring my dehydrated husband and his buddies Cokes, or do I make them wait until Pooky bear wakes up on her own, then bring them Cokes. My daughters moodiness or my husband dehydrating.....hmm
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Things to do today
- At least 3 loads of laundry including folding and putting away (I will do this)
- pack some of Celeste's clothes she no longer fits away (She has more clothes than Chad and I combined)
- wash Celeste's dishes (the rest can wait until tonight)
- give "Pooky Bear" a bath, and maybe our "little monkey" as well
- make sure through out the day no one is hungry (this can be a tedious task as both girls are in the middle of a growth spirt)
- get myself, and the girls dressed before 3 p.m. (today I will make it!)
- work on our budget for the next 3 months (Argh!)
- play with Kira and Celeste (it's always fun to pretend I am little again)
- start cleaning "mommy and daddy's messy room" (to get Kira off our backs!)
- start supper (I'm thinking chicken?)
- call Kyla (she wants to come to the cabin with us tomorrow for a day trip)
- turn ringer off to help me stay on task (as long as I remember to keep checking the phone to see who called)
We will see how much I get done!
- pack some of Celeste's clothes she no longer fits away (She has more clothes than Chad and I combined)
- wash Celeste's dishes (the rest can wait until tonight)
- give "Pooky Bear" a bath, and maybe our "little monkey" as well
- make sure through out the day no one is hungry (this can be a tedious task as both girls are in the middle of a growth spirt)
- get myself, and the girls dressed before 3 p.m. (today I will make it!)
- work on our budget for the next 3 months (Argh!)
- play with Kira and Celeste (it's always fun to pretend I am little again)
- start cleaning "mommy and daddy's messy room" (to get Kira off our backs!)
- start supper (I'm thinking chicken?)
- call Kyla (she wants to come to the cabin with us tomorrow for a day trip)
- turn ringer off to help me stay on task (as long as I remember to keep checking the phone to see who called)
We will see how much I get done!
Insomnia
Celeste is sleeping through the night (for the most part). Now my only problem is convincing my body to go to sleep. I hate the act of trying to get to sleep, I think way too much and toss and turn which I have discovered has proven to be bad for my body, just ask my chiropractor.
On the plus side to my insomnia is I get to listen to the thunder shower happening right now. It sounds peaceful and brings a refreshing smell. It is also cooling the house off wonderfully. Yeah!
Now, if only I were my husband who falls asleep listening to thunder showers....
On the plus side to my insomnia is I get to listen to the thunder shower happening right now. It sounds peaceful and brings a refreshing smell. It is also cooling the house off wonderfully. Yeah!
Now, if only I were my husband who falls asleep listening to thunder showers....
Monday, July 17, 2006
How to weave a web
Sleepless nights means hours of too much thinking about sleep. Which I have concluded makes you even more tired. So then, you try not thinking about sleep but only to find out it makes you only think of sleep. Oh the vicious tangled web I weaved last night.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
We are spontaneous
I realized how spontaneous my family are this week end. We ended up doing things I never even thought of doing this week end (except picking up our stuff from the cabin, but I never knew what time).
Friday, when Chad came home from work, we left for the cabin to pick up the things. We were literally back in an hour and a half. That was crazy to me, not so crazy for Chad given last week, however. When we got back, Chad's friends and my brother came over to play cards. They didn't leave until 2:00 a.m. ( I went to bed at 1:00 a.m.)
Saturday was the crazy day. I was supposed to go garage saling with Chad, but I ended up going downtown with my Mom. Then while I was out my friend called me up and said her sister wanted my family to join all of them at Buffalo Pound today/night. Being the spontaneous family we apparently are, we went. I have to say we all had a good time. Spontanuity is a good thing.
Sunday was supposed to be a quiet day at home cleaning, but Chad wanted to go look at garage sales but then my Dad called on my cell phone telling me to go over there. His best friend was in from out of town with his daughter and grandchildren. So, we quickly went over there. After that I went shopping with my Mom again. So much for a quiet day cleaning. Oh Well!
Friday, when Chad came home from work, we left for the cabin to pick up the things. We were literally back in an hour and a half. That was crazy to me, not so crazy for Chad given last week, however. When we got back, Chad's friends and my brother came over to play cards. They didn't leave until 2:00 a.m. ( I went to bed at 1:00 a.m.)
Saturday was the crazy day. I was supposed to go garage saling with Chad, but I ended up going downtown with my Mom. Then while I was out my friend called me up and said her sister wanted my family to join all of them at Buffalo Pound today/night. Being the spontaneous family we apparently are, we went. I have to say we all had a good time. Spontanuity is a good thing.
Sunday was supposed to be a quiet day at home cleaning, but Chad wanted to go look at garage sales but then my Dad called on my cell phone telling me to go over there. His best friend was in from out of town with his daughter and grandchildren. So, we quickly went over there. After that I went shopping with my Mom again. So much for a quiet day cleaning. Oh Well!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Things you forget in a rush
Things I forgot at the cabin:
- 3/4 of our fresh food and a lot of dry/canned food.
- 3/4 of Kira's summer wardrobe including underwear
- Celeste's bouncy chair
- Most of Kira's favourite toys, but thankfully we remembered her "baby"
- My favourite sandals and shoes
- all of Celeste's bottles and food including formula. (thank goodness I breast feed)
- Kira's favourite movies including, "Little Mermaid" (I'm not entirely missing that one!)
- baby bath and water toys
Along with these things and numerous other things means another trip to the lake very soon. I don't think we will be staying over night, but it will be good to pick up our things.
- 3/4 of our fresh food and a lot of dry/canned food.
- 3/4 of Kira's summer wardrobe including underwear
- Celeste's bouncy chair
- Most of Kira's favourite toys, but thankfully we remembered her "baby"
- My favourite sandals and shoes
- all of Celeste's bottles and food including formula. (thank goodness I breast feed)
- Kira's favourite movies including, "Little Mermaid" (I'm not entirely missing that one!)
- baby bath and water toys
Along with these things and numerous other things means another trip to the lake very soon. I don't think we will be staying over night, but it will be good to pick up our things.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
One Crazy Summer
These past few weeks have been a little caotic. We finally bought a van, it wasn't the original van we were thinking of, but none the less it is a good mini-van (now that it is back from the auto body shop!). We were suposed to leave for the lake on SundayJuly 2, but we didn't make it out their until Tuesday. At least we made it there! We spent last week there then came back. Kira was missing the cabin so much, the girls and I went back to the cabin this week. It was a wonderful week, my Grandma came out and stayed the night...fun times were had by all. A twist of fate changed that last night:
Celeste started having breathing problems out there. I was just monitoring it for a while to see if it would happen again, which it did. I then called Chad to come pick us up (Thank God the cabin is only 35 minutes outside of the city) When we got into town I got the, "She's fine now" from everyone, but I was still worried. When Chad finally saw her struggling to breathe, then he believed me. I guess he is one of those "see it to believe it" people.
After that we went to the hospital emergency, only to be greeted by a triage nurse telling me she is just teething and I am a mom who worries too much. I aggree I do worry too much, but I know not to mess with a babies respiratory system. We ended up seeing a doctor with in 30 minutes, rather than the 4 hour wait everyone else had. The doctor ordered a chest x-ray, consulted a pediatrician and it was decided Celeste was to stay over night for observation. I have to say I was a little releaved because I knew I would not have gotten any sleep if I went home, I would have stayed up all night and watched her breathing. We were officially admitted into her room at 2:00 a.m. to which they hooked her up to a machine that monitored her oxygen and heart rate. God bless the people/person who invented that machine!
Our night was rough. She was up at 5:00 a.m., then at 6:00 p.m. when the pediatrician came to see her, then at 8:00 a.m. She has a chest cold and when she lied on her back the mucus and fluid come up to her throat and literally choke her. She has not had that problem when we were there, but it happened too many times before we got to the hospital, that is why they wanted to keep her for observation. So, after several viewings of baby einstein, many walks around the ward, and Celeste in an excersauser; we were given the go ahead to go home after lunch. Yeah!
So we are all home now with most of the girls and my stuff at the lake, but I am very thankful Celeste is going to be O.K. Am I a paranoid mom, probably....but at least I know that Celeste is going to be fine.
God just keeps reminding me that he is in control of things and I need to keep trusting him. One of these days I will fully learn.
Celeste started having breathing problems out there. I was just monitoring it for a while to see if it would happen again, which it did. I then called Chad to come pick us up (Thank God the cabin is only 35 minutes outside of the city) When we got into town I got the, "She's fine now" from everyone, but I was still worried. When Chad finally saw her struggling to breathe, then he believed me. I guess he is one of those "see it to believe it" people.
After that we went to the hospital emergency, only to be greeted by a triage nurse telling me she is just teething and I am a mom who worries too much. I aggree I do worry too much, but I know not to mess with a babies respiratory system. We ended up seeing a doctor with in 30 minutes, rather than the 4 hour wait everyone else had. The doctor ordered a chest x-ray, consulted a pediatrician and it was decided Celeste was to stay over night for observation. I have to say I was a little releaved because I knew I would not have gotten any sleep if I went home, I would have stayed up all night and watched her breathing. We were officially admitted into her room at 2:00 a.m. to which they hooked her up to a machine that monitored her oxygen and heart rate. God bless the people/person who invented that machine!
Our night was rough. She was up at 5:00 a.m., then at 6:00 p.m. when the pediatrician came to see her, then at 8:00 a.m. She has a chest cold and when she lied on her back the mucus and fluid come up to her throat and literally choke her. She has not had that problem when we were there, but it happened too many times before we got to the hospital, that is why they wanted to keep her for observation. So, after several viewings of baby einstein, many walks around the ward, and Celeste in an excersauser; we were given the go ahead to go home after lunch. Yeah!
So we are all home now with most of the girls and my stuff at the lake, but I am very thankful Celeste is going to be O.K. Am I a paranoid mom, probably....but at least I know that Celeste is going to be fine.
God just keeps reminding me that he is in control of things and I need to keep trusting him. One of these days I will fully learn.
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