Hope

A good friend of mine gave me a book recently called, "Treasures for women who hope" Written by Alice Gray. This book has been a very inspiring book to read. I can not seem to put it down. I am sure the chapters are meant for one chapter-a-day reading, however, I keep reading on.

Since at the end of each chapter there is part for you to analyze what you have read, I thought I would answer the questions on my blog, this way others could read and comment too. Warning the questions are loading and are not an easy answer. I am going to try my best to answer them with no masks on

Something beautiful

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity in their hearts,

except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

1) Describe you feelings about the idea that God allows and, yes, even plans difficulties for our lives. How does your understanding affect your ability to hope?
This is not an easy answer. My first gut instinct is to question "why". As I have learnt recently Job did the same thing to God. He was richly blessed in the end, however, through out the book of Job it talks about him questioning why God does the things He does. So, my first feeling is confusion. I do know that lessons are learnt through experiences. With out the experiences, we would learn nothing and would not know a lot in life.

This still causes confusion as I still want to find an easier way to learn, however, I also know that the easy way out is not necessarily the best way to learn. More mistakes can be made this way.

I am typically the first voice of hope in our house when things take a turn for the worse. I am just not good at dealing when it is me that is directly involved in our turmoil. It sounds weird but I can handle things happening to my husband and my children. I indistinctly go into a mode of dependence on God and focusing to my family that God will get us through it. However, if it is me that is sick. I can not seem to manage this. I understand it fully, but do not find peace in it.

I know I have problems with confrontations. I have been trying really hard to work on this fault of mine. I tend to hide from the problem rather then face it. I have been really trying to work on this in hopes that it will help my coping skills for when I am ill.





2)How do you usually respond when heartbreaks crash down on you or those you love?
It depends on who is involved. I seem to loose hope if it is me directly involved, however, if it is anyone else, I have no problems understanding where my hope comes from. I do know when I am seriously ill, I seek prayer and support from those I care about. This I guess helps find hope for me. (So much for a simple answer!) I guess I understand where I go to help find hope if it is lacking in me. I believe this is a good thing. I am also starting to read more scripture than before, which has also helped because I never really realized how much heartache is in the bible. Is it wrong to find comfort in reading about someone else's pain? It reminds me I am not alone.

Empathy is a powerful response to people's pain. I tend to seek empathy when I am sick, I also try to give empathy when others need it. I know I would not be here if it wasn't for God. Everything I have in life would not be here if it wasn't for Him. I am eternally grateful for that and I also know He will get me through anything. However, knowing this doesn't always help.

I am a bit of a control freak and like to be in control. This is why, I think, I have no problems providing empathy and support to those who need it. This is also why I have a hard time coping when something goes wrong with me. I can not control what is happening. It seems I have an easier time telling others to pray and provide support to them, rather than letting others provide prayer and support to me. For those who have known me a long time will know this has been a struggle of mine for a while.

I have to say,though, I have been making an effort to change that and let God take control of my life as well as others. I don't struggle with change, as it happens a lot in my life, so I am looking forward (finally) to the change God has planned in the near future. I see change happening and I am curious about his plans. So I guess I am finding hope again, and it is a good feeling.



These questions are taken from chapter 3 in "Treasures for women who hope"

I see the rainbow!

This afternoon I am feeling much better, I still have my wrist in a splint, but that is my only obsticale I am faced with today, YEAH!

And on the note of feeling better, I am going to clean as best as I know how.

Goal for this afternoon:

Make lunch - soup and toast with fruit for dessert

Laundry - at this point anything more than one load a day would be an ackomplishment

Dishes- (this one will hurt, but it is really needed right now)

Reading and enjoy a cup of tea - didn't expect this one did you, I am realizing I will need a break before I wear out.

Bathroom - I can't wait to try this one as I just bought the Mr clean bathroom cleaning kit

Call some people re: Pampered Chef

Then get ready to enjoy my Friday night.

Little sneak

Since Chad and I have been sick, it seems my girls are testing their boundaries to see if they have changed. The boundaries have definitely changed for minor things, but the major ones like meal times have not. Pooky bear today has been really wanting ice cream, but we said she could have it after lunch. To which she replied early this morning, "can I have lunch now?" What a girlie.

My stomach is acting up huge today, but she still makes me laugh so much!

Owe!

Saw this and thought I'd share

This was taken at Pooky bear's soccer game in January. My little monkey definately has Rider Pride! (as an FYI- Pooky bear's team are called Timbit Riders)

Rainbow

I am finally starting to see a break in the clouds where one day soon a rainbow is sure to appear! I am still nauseous, but I am able to hold food down. The Dr thinks it is the Rhoda Virus which takes a week to ten days to get out of your system. I just caught little monkey's cold, but it is actually better compared to the virus I am still working on. It sounds bad because I have 2 viruses in my system right now, but I know a cold does not last that long and I am on day 8 of the Rhoda virus (which means only around 2 more days to go). At this point I am just praying it does go away because otherwise I have to go for more testing. But at least I will know what is going on.

Chad's and my wrist are still sore. I had x-ray on my wrist and I see the doctor next week to determine what to do, because it is still in a lot of pain, my Dr thinks it may be a ligiment problem which will mean a specialist. I am actually relieved to know this because I am on the road to recovery then, yeah for me! Chad gets his pins out second week in March, he can't wait to get a normal cast.

Little monkey is almost over her cold and Pooky bear is doing well too. They are awesome little girls! They have been able to make me smile so much these last few days, it is what I needed.

In other news, I am pleased to announce my friends Scott and Candace had their baby yesterday! Her name is Claire Andrea, she was born 8lbs 14oz and 21" long. Mom and baby are doing well. Scott commented to Chad that he was really tired and was looking forward for the 3 weeks off so he can sleep. Chad quickly informed Scott his sleeping will be on Claire's schedule, not his. I can't wait to be feeling better so I can see the little doll!

Update

We all saw the Dr. today, but not much was determined for me as more tests need to be done. Chad's hand continues to be very sore and he has come down with the flu now, joy! Little monkey has a cold, I am worried because her appetite is weak right now, fortunately we have an abundance of fresh fruit right now which is all she wants to eat besides her milk. Pooky bear is the healthiest of us all, but I am still worried about her because I know she is really worried about us. Crazy eh?

"Patience is a vurtue" - I am struggling with right this now as my pain tollerence is low and nausea level is high. I think I have had all I can take right now. All I want to do is stop throwing up, but I can't. All Chad wants to do is sleep, but he can't. I am ready for a break. My flag is up, and I'm begging for peace. I know when it rains it often poors, right now I am looking for the rainbow, of God's promise, after reminding me clearly that God is here.

It's funny because I know He is here, I saw it for the last two days from two women from my mom 2 mom group came and brought goodies of various kinds to help me out and also one offered some assistance in cleaning my house. I very much appreciate their generosity and kindness. It gives me that drive to look for the rainbow of God's promise.

I pray it comes soon.

A sum up of how our house has been feeling

Poor Pooky bear has been so worn out these past few days, she fell asleep on an old computer chair of ours! She has been more worried about how her Daddy and Mommy are doing, and we are trying our hardest to let her be a kid by playing play dough with her and other fun things kids like to do. It's completely worn her out! I know how she feels! Chad and I are worn out from trying to let her be a kid and stop worrying about us. All the tiredness from all of us was worth it!

I forgot

I forgot to mention Chad's surgery went well. He has two pins in his hands which means he can't use the hand for anything. It's one of those you don't want to know what would happen if he did use it. The pins will stay in until 3 1/2 weeks. After that he will get a normal cast in which he could at least hold little monkey again. It bothers him that he can't pick his girls up any more. We don't want to rick the pins moving.

More on just when you think...

I am not going to scream this time, just vent. I promise.

Warning: my writing is may not make perfect sense, I am too tired and drugged up to be worried about my grammar.

My Friday was really good, I babysat, went shopping for a few things, went out for coffee with a friend, came home and e-mailed a few other friends, then sickness hit me. my abdomen was in excruciating pain and I was nauseous....I won't get into the rest. So, needled to say I ended up in the e.r once again. I was had a bowel obstruction which I don't want to begin to describe what happens when you have one. I didn't get home until 12:00 p.m. the next day. While Chad and I were at the hospital my pooky bear had an upset stomach all night. She didn't become better until 7:00 a.m Saturday.

So, I missed my Mom's birthday, Pooky Bear, Little monkey and I were actually all sleeping when it started. We missed church because we are still all recuperating. Little monkey showed symptoms of having a cold when she woke up this morning. At least she is not having an upset stomach.

My house continues to be a disaster and we keep praying things will settle down. I am thankful for family day tomorrow, because we are in no shape to be having two extra toddlers for the day.

Right now I think I am going to make some tea for Chad and I. We will relax while my girls play in the living room.

"...so on the seventh day he rested from all his work"
Genesis 2:2

That is what we will do too!

Just when you think....

Just when you think things can't get crazier, they do. My husband broke a bone in his hand this afternoon, the same hand I fractured my wrist in. Him and I are the cute couple right now with matching splints and tensers. Only difference is he has to go for surgery tomorrow. CRAZY!

It was 10:30pm when we finally got home. Chad and I arrived at the hospital at 5:30p.m. Too bad we didn't go at 5:00 a.m in the morning when the e.r. is dead. Oh well. I haven't been able to find a babysitter for tomorrow for a surgery we have no clue what time they will book it for. Sorry for my venting, but ARGH! Things were hard enough with just me having a fractured bone in my wrist, now Chad. I am at a loss for positive thinking, even though I know God can get us through.

I keep thinking about how dirty my house is going to get, my wrist is already hurting to no end because I had to do the lifting Chad normally does. ARGH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

O.K., now I feel better. Thanks for the vent/scream. I am going upstairs now to make sure Chad eats something now because he can't eat past midnight. Maybe tomorrow I will finish the book Q.W.P gave me in the waiting room. That would be a good thing, provided I find a babysitter.....O.k, I am not going to stress over this, God will work it out, He always does.

Yummy!

I did my first cooking show in front of my husband tonight and made this:

I thought I would share how yummy it looks (and tastes)

Enjoy! It is a Banana Split Pizza.

Can and can't

My cleaning has dragged into today, I am discovering what I really can do and what I really should not do but have tried anyway. In this case the, " Can't stands for Certainly Are Not Trying" does not apply because I tried all of these.


Cans and Can'ts:

Can - Sort laundry slowly, carry small loads downstairs using my hip and my right arm, dump the load in the wash etc. Who ever invented laundry baskets is a genious-especially the person(s) who invented the laundry basket with the curve in it for your hip. I am able to fold laundry too.

Can't - scoop litter. This is not a bad thing at all. However, I did try, but the tenser bandage ended up smelling like the litter box even though I did not touch it. This was a huge lesson in how to clean my tenser bandage and my splint which can't get wet. God Bless Febreeze and Pet and Oder remover with enzymes and good old fashion hand washing.

Can - make brownie with my husband, the after math left my tenser needing another cleaning though. Maybe it was a good thing I don't have an actual cast, I couldn't imagine how dirty it would get it!

Can't- open baby food jars, I forgot to remind Chad to open the jars before he went to work and I ended up opening one myself which was exceptionally hard. I needed T3's after that, not too mention an ice pack and Motrin. It was definately a reminder my wrist is not better.

Can - make food still by myself...I was very proud I made Shepperd's Pie last night, I had to use instant potatoes because I could not peel them myself, but it was good none the less.

Can't - Wash dishes, I am able to put most of them away, but washing is not an easy task. This is actually driving me nuts because although Chad has been washing dishes everyday, they are not all caught up because there are days (especially when I am babysitting) where there are two to three loads of dishes which need to be washed. I think I am going to go crazy by the end of the three weeks in my kitchen. I should also mention my husband is not too great at washing dishes either. He gets an "E" for effort, but he is not me. As much as I hate washing dishes, I am a perfectionist when I do wash them. Oh, to have a dish washer!

Can - sort papers, my problem is not doing this with 1 1/2 hands, it is actually getting the motivation to do this.

Can't - wash wash my hair properly, washing your hair with one hand is not easy, and it hurts too much to try and use my left. My husband, again God bless him for his efforts, can't help me wash my hair.

Can - delegate to the kids when to pick up the toys and tell them where to put them. This never was a problem before, the only differnce was if they put the toys in the wrong spot, I would put the toy in the right spot showing the kids where the toy actually goes. Now, I just accept any spot they chose, as long as it is put out of the way, I don't care right now.

Can't - I can't wait to have my wrist better!

It's been a while

Since I have lost a lot of my independance, I am going to try and see what I can ackomplish with one hand for cleaning. I love my husband for his efforts in cleaning, but I really need to try.

Here is a list of goals I have to try for this afternoon.

- dusting - this will be easy for the most part, I must take a reactine before I do this (it is a bad thing to dust with out allergy meds if you are *very* allergic to dust.

- sorting paper - I think I can do this

- laundry - this I will have to see how much I can really do with one hand.

- making a craft with the kids this afternoon. (this we will have to see)

- attempt to make brownies.

We will see how things work out.

Another week end with lessons learnt

- Tripping up the stairs can result in a possible bone fracture in your wrist

- The side effects of such a fall may not be present immediately.

- The e.r. is empty at 5:00 a.m. on a Sat morning

- Tylenol 3 on an empty stomach is not a good combination

- It is good to plan an e.r. trip in accordance to your daughters 1st birthday party.

- My brother is an awesome shoveler

- Even though it is your daughter's first birthday, doesn't mean she has to stay awake for it.

- Doing things with one hand is not easy, but it can be accomplished

- Wacking the battery in your car can help start your car. Not guaranteed to work every time.

- Trying not to use my hand is easier said than done.

- Changing a baby's diaper with minimal hand usage is hard.

- Three toddlers needing their food cut would not be possible with out my Pampered Chef Food Chopper.

- UPS is faster than they tell you.

- Having kids help you sometimes makes it worse

- Pain can affect how patient one is.

- Taking a step back for a break is O.K. under controlled conditions.

- I have learnt I appreiate my husband so much more when he comes home since I have become more dependant on him.

- Losing some of my independance sucks!

*Biggest lesson of all *****never***** trip up the stairs when you are in a hurry, always be careful when using stairs!

HA!

Who do I look like?

It interesting spending a childhood thinking you are an ugly duckling wait to grow up to having your own child and realizing how cute I was as a child. Your self esteem is greatly affected after having a child look like a "mini-me" I view things a lot differently now. I want both my girls to know how beautiful they are inside and out. This is not an easy task as you don't want the girls to be too self centered, but still you want them to have the confidence neccesary to succeed in life. The pastor at our church conducted his sermon on Sunday based around confidence. He talked about getting the confidence from God. That is my goal to teach my girls confidence from God to do His will. I can't wait to see the outcome from the girls!

I did it!

My Little monkey just took THREE consecutive steps today by herself!!!

Just thought I'd share!

I love how this picture illustrates victory.

thought for the day

“Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.”
Zig Ziglar

A crazy week

This week has been a little emotional. My husband is about to turn his life around, and he doesn't even realize it. One of my best friends dad is in the hospital and her grandma (her dad's mom) pasted away the same week. Because of all of this, I have been praying like crazy. I have never been like this before. I just feel the need to pray all the time this week. There is so much to process and yet so much peace that comes with it.

Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him and he will do this.

Psalms 37:3-5

If the LORD delights in a man's way,

he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,

for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
I was young and now I am old,

yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken

or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;

their children will be blessed.

Psalm 37:23-26

This scripture was highlighted to me today. It stands true to all I have gone through these last few weeks, not to mention years. It is something my husband and I need to follow and take comfort in.

What do you think?

I was watching an old eighties movie with my hubby, as we normally do when he picks the movie, and in the movie came a thought I was very much interested in.

"No one wins a fight."

Interesting food for thought.

A crazy Christmas

I have not posted for a while because illness fell upon our house right around Christmas. Pooky bear and I are the only ones left still sick. I have been to the doctor's office 5 times during the holidays and one visit to the hospital. Fortunately this made for a quiet Christmas. I did learn a few things this Christmas holiday though:

1) A hot oven rack will melt carpet

2) When you ask in-laws to come over an hour later because of illness and the delay in getting supper ready, they will show up an hour early to "visit".

3) When the reception desk at the doctor's clinic informs you the wait is an hour and a half, prepare for 2 hours.

4) Expect to run into people you have not seen for years at the doctor's office when you are looking your worst.

5) Extra Strength Ibprophen and Benylin cold and flu cause me to be very loopy

6) My oldest daughter loves to go the church at bed time

7) Don't have your carpets cleaned right after Christmas because before hand you do a lot of cleaning which creates extra garbage which can not be disposed of imediately as the garbage bins are already over-flowing.

8) Don't have your carpets cleaned if you are getting the flu

9) It's wonderful to have your husband home to help when you are sick.

10) Who ever's sicker, gets to rest -quite often this was me

11) missing boxing day shopping was not the end of the world

12) When you get your carpets cleaned it is a great time to down size the amount of toys your children accumulated.

13) Having a quiet new years with my husband and I playing games is my favourite way to bring in the new year, we did this last year and I was reminded how much I loved it.

14) It's going to be Ok to send cards late this year. Well, at least in my eyes it is.

15) My cat doesn't mind getting her hair cut.


The list could probably go on, but these are the highlights. I hope all who read this had a wonderful holiday and have a happy new year!