Update

We all saw the Dr. today, but not much was determined for me as more tests need to be done. Chad's hand continues to be very sore and he has come down with the flu now, joy! Little monkey has a cold, I am worried because her appetite is weak right now, fortunately we have an abundance of fresh fruit right now which is all she wants to eat besides her milk. Pooky bear is the healthiest of us all, but I am still worried about her because I know she is really worried about us. Crazy eh?

"Patience is a vurtue" - I am struggling with right this now as my pain tollerence is low and nausea level is high. I think I have had all I can take right now. All I want to do is stop throwing up, but I can't. All Chad wants to do is sleep, but he can't. I am ready for a break. My flag is up, and I'm begging for peace. I know when it rains it often poors, right now I am looking for the rainbow, of God's promise, after reminding me clearly that God is here.

It's funny because I know He is here, I saw it for the last two days from two women from my mom 2 mom group came and brought goodies of various kinds to help me out and also one offered some assistance in cleaning my house. I very much appreciate their generosity and kindness. It gives me that drive to look for the rainbow of God's promise.

I pray it comes soon.

A sum up of how our house has been feeling

Poor Pooky bear has been so worn out these past few days, she fell asleep on an old computer chair of ours! She has been more worried about how her Daddy and Mommy are doing, and we are trying our hardest to let her be a kid by playing play dough with her and other fun things kids like to do. It's completely worn her out! I know how she feels! Chad and I are worn out from trying to let her be a kid and stop worrying about us. All the tiredness from all of us was worth it!

I forgot

I forgot to mention Chad's surgery went well. He has two pins in his hands which means he can't use the hand for anything. It's one of those you don't want to know what would happen if he did use it. The pins will stay in until 3 1/2 weeks. After that he will get a normal cast in which he could at least hold little monkey again. It bothers him that he can't pick his girls up any more. We don't want to rick the pins moving.

More on just when you think...

I am not going to scream this time, just vent. I promise.

Warning: my writing is may not make perfect sense, I am too tired and drugged up to be worried about my grammar.

My Friday was really good, I babysat, went shopping for a few things, went out for coffee with a friend, came home and e-mailed a few other friends, then sickness hit me. my abdomen was in excruciating pain and I was nauseous....I won't get into the rest. So, needled to say I ended up in the e.r once again. I was had a bowel obstruction which I don't want to begin to describe what happens when you have one. I didn't get home until 12:00 p.m. the next day. While Chad and I were at the hospital my pooky bear had an upset stomach all night. She didn't become better until 7:00 a.m Saturday.

So, I missed my Mom's birthday, Pooky Bear, Little monkey and I were actually all sleeping when it started. We missed church because we are still all recuperating. Little monkey showed symptoms of having a cold when she woke up this morning. At least she is not having an upset stomach.

My house continues to be a disaster and we keep praying things will settle down. I am thankful for family day tomorrow, because we are in no shape to be having two extra toddlers for the day.

Right now I think I am going to make some tea for Chad and I. We will relax while my girls play in the living room.

"...so on the seventh day he rested from all his work"
Genesis 2:2

That is what we will do too!

Just when you think....

Just when you think things can't get crazier, they do. My husband broke a bone in his hand this afternoon, the same hand I fractured my wrist in. Him and I are the cute couple right now with matching splints and tensers. Only difference is he has to go for surgery tomorrow. CRAZY!

It was 10:30pm when we finally got home. Chad and I arrived at the hospital at 5:30p.m. Too bad we didn't go at 5:00 a.m in the morning when the e.r. is dead. Oh well. I haven't been able to find a babysitter for tomorrow for a surgery we have no clue what time they will book it for. Sorry for my venting, but ARGH! Things were hard enough with just me having a fractured bone in my wrist, now Chad. I am at a loss for positive thinking, even though I know God can get us through.

I keep thinking about how dirty my house is going to get, my wrist is already hurting to no end because I had to do the lifting Chad normally does. ARGH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

O.K., now I feel better. Thanks for the vent/scream. I am going upstairs now to make sure Chad eats something now because he can't eat past midnight. Maybe tomorrow I will finish the book Q.W.P gave me in the waiting room. That would be a good thing, provided I find a babysitter.....O.k, I am not going to stress over this, God will work it out, He always does.

Yummy!

I did my first cooking show in front of my husband tonight and made this:

I thought I would share how yummy it looks (and tastes)

Enjoy! It is a Banana Split Pizza.

Can and can't

My cleaning has dragged into today, I am discovering what I really can do and what I really should not do but have tried anyway. In this case the, " Can't stands for Certainly Are Not Trying" does not apply because I tried all of these.


Cans and Can'ts:

Can - Sort laundry slowly, carry small loads downstairs using my hip and my right arm, dump the load in the wash etc. Who ever invented laundry baskets is a genious-especially the person(s) who invented the laundry basket with the curve in it for your hip. I am able to fold laundry too.

Can't - scoop litter. This is not a bad thing at all. However, I did try, but the tenser bandage ended up smelling like the litter box even though I did not touch it. This was a huge lesson in how to clean my tenser bandage and my splint which can't get wet. God Bless Febreeze and Pet and Oder remover with enzymes and good old fashion hand washing.

Can - make brownie with my husband, the after math left my tenser needing another cleaning though. Maybe it was a good thing I don't have an actual cast, I couldn't imagine how dirty it would get it!

Can't- open baby food jars, I forgot to remind Chad to open the jars before he went to work and I ended up opening one myself which was exceptionally hard. I needed T3's after that, not too mention an ice pack and Motrin. It was definately a reminder my wrist is not better.

Can - make food still by myself...I was very proud I made Shepperd's Pie last night, I had to use instant potatoes because I could not peel them myself, but it was good none the less.

Can't - Wash dishes, I am able to put most of them away, but washing is not an easy task. This is actually driving me nuts because although Chad has been washing dishes everyday, they are not all caught up because there are days (especially when I am babysitting) where there are two to three loads of dishes which need to be washed. I think I am going to go crazy by the end of the three weeks in my kitchen. I should also mention my husband is not too great at washing dishes either. He gets an "E" for effort, but he is not me. As much as I hate washing dishes, I am a perfectionist when I do wash them. Oh, to have a dish washer!

Can - sort papers, my problem is not doing this with 1 1/2 hands, it is actually getting the motivation to do this.

Can't - wash wash my hair properly, washing your hair with one hand is not easy, and it hurts too much to try and use my left. My husband, again God bless him for his efforts, can't help me wash my hair.

Can - delegate to the kids when to pick up the toys and tell them where to put them. This never was a problem before, the only differnce was if they put the toys in the wrong spot, I would put the toy in the right spot showing the kids where the toy actually goes. Now, I just accept any spot they chose, as long as it is put out of the way, I don't care right now.

Can't - I can't wait to have my wrist better!

It's been a while

Since I have lost a lot of my independance, I am going to try and see what I can ackomplish with one hand for cleaning. I love my husband for his efforts in cleaning, but I really need to try.

Here is a list of goals I have to try for this afternoon.

- dusting - this will be easy for the most part, I must take a reactine before I do this (it is a bad thing to dust with out allergy meds if you are *very* allergic to dust.

- sorting paper - I think I can do this

- laundry - this I will have to see how much I can really do with one hand.

- making a craft with the kids this afternoon. (this we will have to see)

- attempt to make brownies.

We will see how things work out.

Another week end with lessons learnt

- Tripping up the stairs can result in a possible bone fracture in your wrist

- The side effects of such a fall may not be present immediately.

- The e.r. is empty at 5:00 a.m. on a Sat morning

- Tylenol 3 on an empty stomach is not a good combination

- It is good to plan an e.r. trip in accordance to your daughters 1st birthday party.

- My brother is an awesome shoveler

- Even though it is your daughter's first birthday, doesn't mean she has to stay awake for it.

- Doing things with one hand is not easy, but it can be accomplished

- Wacking the battery in your car can help start your car. Not guaranteed to work every time.

- Trying not to use my hand is easier said than done.

- Changing a baby's diaper with minimal hand usage is hard.

- Three toddlers needing their food cut would not be possible with out my Pampered Chef Food Chopper.

- UPS is faster than they tell you.

- Having kids help you sometimes makes it worse

- Pain can affect how patient one is.

- Taking a step back for a break is O.K. under controlled conditions.

- I have learnt I appreiate my husband so much more when he comes home since I have become more dependant on him.

- Losing some of my independance sucks!

*Biggest lesson of all *****never***** trip up the stairs when you are in a hurry, always be careful when using stairs!

HA!

Who do I look like?

It interesting spending a childhood thinking you are an ugly duckling wait to grow up to having your own child and realizing how cute I was as a child. Your self esteem is greatly affected after having a child look like a "mini-me" I view things a lot differently now. I want both my girls to know how beautiful they are inside and out. This is not an easy task as you don't want the girls to be too self centered, but still you want them to have the confidence neccesary to succeed in life. The pastor at our church conducted his sermon on Sunday based around confidence. He talked about getting the confidence from God. That is my goal to teach my girls confidence from God to do His will. I can't wait to see the outcome from the girls!

I did it!

My Little monkey just took THREE consecutive steps today by herself!!!

Just thought I'd share!

I love how this picture illustrates victory.

thought for the day

“Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.”
Zig Ziglar

A crazy week

This week has been a little emotional. My husband is about to turn his life around, and he doesn't even realize it. One of my best friends dad is in the hospital and her grandma (her dad's mom) pasted away the same week. Because of all of this, I have been praying like crazy. I have never been like this before. I just feel the need to pray all the time this week. There is so much to process and yet so much peace that comes with it.

Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him and he will do this.

Psalms 37:3-5

If the LORD delights in a man's way,

he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,

for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
I was young and now I am old,

yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken

or their children begging bread.
They are always generous and lend freely;

their children will be blessed.

Psalm 37:23-26

This scripture was highlighted to me today. It stands true to all I have gone through these last few weeks, not to mention years. It is something my husband and I need to follow and take comfort in.

What do you think?

I was watching an old eighties movie with my hubby, as we normally do when he picks the movie, and in the movie came a thought I was very much interested in.

"No one wins a fight."

Interesting food for thought.

A crazy Christmas

I have not posted for a while because illness fell upon our house right around Christmas. Pooky bear and I are the only ones left still sick. I have been to the doctor's office 5 times during the holidays and one visit to the hospital. Fortunately this made for a quiet Christmas. I did learn a few things this Christmas holiday though:

1) A hot oven rack will melt carpet

2) When you ask in-laws to come over an hour later because of illness and the delay in getting supper ready, they will show up an hour early to "visit".

3) When the reception desk at the doctor's clinic informs you the wait is an hour and a half, prepare for 2 hours.

4) Expect to run into people you have not seen for years at the doctor's office when you are looking your worst.

5) Extra Strength Ibprophen and Benylin cold and flu cause me to be very loopy

6) My oldest daughter loves to go the church at bed time

7) Don't have your carpets cleaned right after Christmas because before hand you do a lot of cleaning which creates extra garbage which can not be disposed of imediately as the garbage bins are already over-flowing.

8) Don't have your carpets cleaned if you are getting the flu

9) It's wonderful to have your husband home to help when you are sick.

10) Who ever's sicker, gets to rest -quite often this was me

11) missing boxing day shopping was not the end of the world

12) When you get your carpets cleaned it is a great time to down size the amount of toys your children accumulated.

13) Having a quiet new years with my husband and I playing games is my favourite way to bring in the new year, we did this last year and I was reminded how much I loved it.

14) It's going to be Ok to send cards late this year. Well, at least in my eyes it is.

15) My cat doesn't mind getting her hair cut.


The list could probably go on, but these are the highlights. I hope all who read this had a wonderful holiday and have a happy new year!

Gifts

I don't understand how taking a class, which is supposed to help determine what your spiritual gifts are and how you are going to use them, has made me more confused than helpful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the class and conducted a lot of research as a result of the class, however, I don't feel I have truly "unleashed my niche". It's one thing to understand one's identity and personality, it is entirely another thing to put it into perspective and use it for the "greater good".

I believe part of my confusion is that I keep second guessing myself. I like to evaluate things until I fully understand them. The problem with determining spiritual gifts is you are not supposed to second guess. You are suposed to use your gut instinct rather than your thoughts. This is where I am bad for taking tests such as these. The solution the module has for situations like this is to have someone else take the test as though they are you. This is good, but I feel, has its weeknesses too.

When I take a test on personality, you really have to focus on who you actually are, and not on who you want to be. This can be done, but subconsciously one is natually inclined to persieve themselves to be who they want to be anyway. Their minds are going to give examples to support their thoughts and have the ability to give direct references who will verify their thoughts. The same can be said for people who are going to take the test for you. They are going to answer, not necessarily intentionally, who they think and percieve you are to them. At this point who is right?

I believe everyone has multiple identies. To my children I am their nurturer, caregiver, organizer, provider, supporter, boundry enforcer, maid, cook, and driver. These don't even come close to all the characteristics it takes to be their mom. Am I these characteristics to everyone? No. Do I enjoy every characteristic it takes to be their mom? Maybe not all the time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

When I am serving in a ministry, I am several different characteristics. I am not these characteristics all the time, but for that time, I am. I am a woman trying to serve God in a different way other than being a mom or a wife. This is why it is hard for other people to evaluate my personality. There is no one physical person who is a witness to all of my identities. My husband is not always there to witness me serving in certain ministries, he knows my tendencies, but is not always there. The same goes for friends of mine, they are not their at night when Chad and I are parenting our children before bed. And all of this Ok, but hopefully one can see how confused I am when I am trying to determine what my spiritual gifts are.

To try and help determine what my real gifts are I selected 2 people to help take the tests for me. My husband, of course, and my spiritual buddy who knows my tendencies as well. With the three of us I know I can get a better result, however, it is difficult still because they have the subconsious ability to respond to how they want me to be, not how I actually am. This is where I wish the Holy Spirit, who knows and understands the complete me, could just tell me where to go and what to do.

My prayer is for Him to just use me as a tool and use me to my full potential. I know He will open and close doors for me. I am more than willing to listen, especially now. I just hope my bias does not interfere with, what I perceive, God wants me to do with my gifts.

"Use me, oh God!
See my strengths and embrace them,
see my weaknesses as experience,
see my body as a tool for you,
see my mind and influence it,
I am yours.
Use me, Oh God!

Stories about Santa lies

Little monkey and Santa today


Stories about "santa lies"


I have been having problems with the "Santa lies" which has to be created in order for your children to believe in him. For example, I was at Wal-mart last night and a little girl saw that I had a Littlest Petshop Playground in my cart. Her mom reminded the little girl that she received Littlest Petshop last year. I almost said, "Well my daughter knows santa is working on it, so I had to get it for her". When I started to say this, I realized I could potentially wreck the "idea of santa" for this little girl. If it was my own daughter at her age, I would have told her the truth as we have been already leading into the fact he is not real; however, she was not my daughter, so I had to make some quick cover detailing that my daughter has been wanting the Littlest Petshop Playground for a while now. The mom could obviously tell I was about to blow the "santa lie" and when she walked away she mouthed the words, "thank you". I think I did the right thing.

**********************************************************************************

Pooky bear is way too smart for her own good! Today, even after we have gone over many times that the santa she sees is not the "real santa", Pooky bear while sitting on santa's lap, was asked what she wanted for Christmas. She cheekily replied, "don't you know santa?, you've been working on it?" Santa's reply was "I want to hear again to make sure I don't get it right" Pooky bear, very snarky at this point, replied, "I want Littlest Petshop" (she said it in a tone resembling a "Duh!" sound. I laughed so hard it hurt!

************************************************************************************

While sitting in the Dr's office tonight with my oldest daughter, I noticed she saw a picture of Santa on the wall. I looked at the picture and saw Santa sitting in a row boat with a bunch of animal friends and toys.
I asked my daughter, "What does santa ride in?"
"He rides in a sleigh, he can't ride in a boat, cause he couldn't get to my house!"
She had the whole waiting room laughing including the staff!
I would have never thought that's why santa does not ride in a boat.
That girl is definitely too smart for her own good!

***********************************************************************************

Chad and I are trying to create more of an idea of Santa with the intention of teaching the girls, when they are old enough, where santa came from and why people celebrate santa. When that happens we will not have presents under the tree from santa, but a chance to draw names and have more of a "secret santa" with emphasis on doing something nice for someone. Our plan is, a week before Christmas, we will draw names and everyone will have to do something nice for that person each day leading up to Christmas. On Christmas eve, everyone will fill the stockings of the person they drew. We want to encourage the kids to make something rather than buying the gift. I think this is a good compromise to the "santa idea" and reminds children that the real St. Nicholas did something nice for some girls, not to get praise, but to do, esscencially, what Jesus would do-help those in need. This is the santa idea we want to teach, but it is not easy for a three year old to understand.

We both have told her the santa she sees is not real, but she talks to him like he is. Maybe it's because we still are telling her to sit on his lap and he is the one asking what she wants, or maybe it is the other children and all the propaganda in support of santa around her, I am not sure, but it is cute all the comments she makes as she is learning. I think we sill start focusing on our beliefs when Little monkey if 4 or 5. I don't want to wreck the "santa experience" too soon. We'll see what happens.

Another cute story

"Look Brandy! Little monkey is playing with me!"

"That's great! I am so happy the two of you are having fun together."

"But, I'm not a toy!?"

Why can't I see Jesus?

After praying my daughter asked,

"Mommy, why can't I see Jesus?"

Thinking of answer quickly, I replied,

"That's because Jesus is our hearts."

She paused for a momment and commented,

"Oh, Jesus must be sleeping then, because I can't hear him."

Super cleaning Thursday

We've been so busy lately, I admit my cleaning has been not as fine tuned as I would like it to be, so, I have decided I am going to host another, "super clean your house" day! I am going to update my list to keep track of my accomplishments.
My goals today:

- Laundry- get as many loads done as possible, this must include folding and putting away clothing. did 3 complete loads, the nice thing is that I can only go as fast as the washer will let me.

- Dishes - wash until every dish in this house is clean. Yeah I started!

- Litter box - I don't think anyone wants details to this one. Done

- vacuum- this includes hallway and bedrooms Doing when the kids are up from their naps

- sort miscellaneous stuff and have the attitude of "keep, sell, toss" have started, so far I have 1/2 a box full of stuff to get trid of and 1/2 a bag of garbage. Wow do we have a lot of stuff!

- empty all garbages in house done

We will see what I get done, who knows, I may be able to actually complete this list!

Some pics of the concert Sunday

The quality is not great but you can still see how cute the girls are in their pretty dresses.

Insomnia

I am tired, but can not sleep. Tomorrow I am going to pay for it! I have been up for the last hour playing with the pictures we took today from Pooky Bear's pagent at church. I am also listening to Pandora.com( http://www.pandora.com/ )radio.

Pandora is very cool. You pick a song or artist you want to listen to and they pick songs which relate to that and play only that genre. I am pretty pumped because a found a radio with worship music to dance music. I so have to play this for Pooky bear, who loves her baby techno dance cd. I have been trying to find fun ways to introduce worship music to my girls at their level. I did discover that Blessings has a video and music collection called "God Made Babies ". It's kind of like baby einstein but with biblical references and worship music. Little monkey is getting a video for Christmas. I love Blessings http://www.blessings.com/ .

I'm all about being a free advertiser tonight. Oh well! Enjoy!

Newest pics

Newest pics of Pooky Bear and Little Monkey

T'is the season to be busy

I think as Pooky bear gets older, we get busier and busier. I actually admit I like it. This is what I have wanted for my children. I just hope they like it too, or things will have to change. With Christmas parties, pageant rehearsals, soccer and Christmas pageants, our weekends are packed with things to do. It is truly great! It may sound weird, but it keeps us from a boring weekend of not knowing what to do.

I remember when Pooky bear was little, Chad and I wouldn't know what to do on the weekends. We often would stay home. Now, with all of the activities, we are often out of the house before 9 or 10 am. We are getting more house cleaning done, because we are forced to put it into our schedule or else it won't get done. This is a very good thing!

I do have to say I am not getting any major cleaning time, but that just means I need to set aside a day of cleaning. I think tomorrow afternoon and into the evening I will work on my basement. I kind of wrecked any organization I had down there trying to look for my missing Christmas boxes (which I found by the way and my tree looks fabulous!). I could probably start doing it now, but Pooky bear and I have to leave in an hour and I feel like procrastinating instead. Moms need a break too. Did I mention everyone in my house, except me, are sleeping right now in between activities. I would be sleeping to, but I had coffee at Tim Horton's while getting Pooky bear's free drink.

Hats off to Tim Hortons, because they sponsor her soccer team, they give every player a free drink after they are done playing, they just have to show their shirt. Pretty cool! Pooky bear loves it, and I'm loving it too because I am in need of a good cup of coffee after being the assistant coach for her team. Coffee is a good thing!

Trying to keep up with appearances

It's my family tradition to set the Christmas tree the first weekend of December, it is nice because it also coinsides with the start of advent. Chad and I decided it would be a godd idea to have a set time in which we do it, that way there is little procrastination from Chad and me not putting the tree up in the middle of November. It works well for us, Pooky bear and little monkey had a blast too!

We set up the tree, which sadly is beginning to break down, and put the lights and some decorations only to discover we couldn't find a box of Christmas decorations. My tree right now is wilting at the top because the angel, which I normally use for decoration on my end table, is too big. Chad said we shouldn't put the angel up at all, but I commented that it isn't a Christmas tree with out a tree topper. Which I know sounds weird, but it wouldn't be the same; so, now I am trying to find the mysterious box which went missing and making decorations to help my poor tree look normal again.

It's a struggle trying to make my tree look like it used to. I'm missing all of the bows I hand made to replace garland and a lot of my ordaments I made as a child. I am happy we have the ones Pooky bear made last year, but it is not the same. I keep looking at pictures of my tree in previous years and feel sad it does not look the same.

Will this affect my Christmas? Of course not. If anything, I think I will get the kids to help me make new decorations for the tree to help with its lack of ordaments and bows. It still looks pretty when the lights are on.

helpful

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

Experiences

From taking a spiritual gifts workshop, my homework was to evaluate my experiences through life, including the painful ones. For some reason, this is harder to accept. I have a hard time grasping the thought that all the pain I went through as a child was intended by God to give me experience. I understand that He uses our experiences as tools for our spiritual gifts, my confusion is that isn't there another way to gain experience without pain. The answer is no, but I look at my children and I don't want any kind of pain upon them what so ever. Is that physically possible? Of course not. But I still struggle with the knowledge that He wants us to experience it. Does He cry when we are in pain? I like to think so.

As a mother cries to see her sick child in the hospital, I am sure He cries because He knows we must endure this to get stronger. I recall a story told to me by a pastor about him literally watching God cry for our city. Does He cry for the lost, for his followers that are struggling, for joy? Is it all of the above? I want to believe all of the above. And yet, as selfish as it sounds, I would like to think there is another way, but I know there isn't. I know the pain I have had to go through has greatly impacted my life in every aspect. I parent my children differently, I act differently, my ministry focus was impacted by my painful experiences.

Even through the toughest times, God is there. He will always be. At which point is it determined that you must endure something for His glory or Satan's? Is it Satan that causes our painful experiences while God watches in the sidelines to see the outcome. Or is it God expanding our boundaries, giving us wisdom and knowledge in the end. I really don't think that Satan would bring on painful experiences if he know the outcome would end up in God's glory. Unless, he hopes that people use the experience in a negative/harmful way in takes that risk. I don't know.

I know I have a lot of faith, but lately it seems to be questioned the more I learn. I find if I stick more with the basics of Christianity, I am fine. Maybe my answers are that simple. Don't worry about it. God knows, that's why he sacrificed His only son. I don't worry about physical needs, I worry about emotional needs. I think that is why I am so confused. I know God provides everything one needs physically, but does He provide for us emotionally? The answer is yes, I just don't get how. How does he provide for us emotionally with free will.

After reflecting over the last question, I was reminded of how a friend of mine came into my life. Our principal in elementary school initiated our friendship. Our principal at the time, I'm sure, did not realize that by initiating our meeting would lead to a friendship that has lasted 16 years, which also has turned more into members of each others families rather than "just friends". That friend was there as a support for me emotionally, physically and spiritually. Only God is able to provide a support network which is necessary in His people's growth. He carefully selects who are going to be involved and when. People, even with free will, can open themselves to God and allow Him to come into their lives, through Jesus, and do God's work. That is a miracle at its finest.

I do understand sometimes the choices we make end up in pain, God can not stop that. But what about children dieing of cancer or other illnesses or accidents. If a child is put on this earth to teach the people around them a lesson, isn't there another way to bring that message across with out the ending of a life. Yes, they would be going back to God, free of pain and suffering. But what about the people left behind devastated, hopefully seeking God, but does not. I have heard of people giving up all hope after a loved one dies. They give up the idea of God and turn to things that will never fill the void. Are these people the risk God takes when he is trying to teach us? Or are these people Satan is trying to get?

The bible has so many verses which can answer these questions. The confusing part is I can find an answer to every question I ask, but which verse/book is right? I can find a verse to support yes and no in the same question. The more I realize this, the more I have to rely on my faith to get me through. It's so frustrating because I know the right answers, without looking in the bible, but I still question why? I'm like my three year old wondering why the sky is blue, after my daughter hears the scientific answer she still says, but why?

That's what I am doing right now, wondering why? I understand my experiences I went through, I know what the outcome was and am happy with it in the long run. But I still wonder why? Only God knows the answer to that. With faith, though, I know it will be alright.

One of my favourite songs:

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright.

And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right.

It'll be fine lover of mine.

It'll be just fine.

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom.

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.

Fill your lives with love and bravery,

And you shall lead a live uncommon

I've heard you anguish

I've heard you hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out,

Set down you chains, until only faith remains

Set down you chains

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

There are plenty of people who pray for peace

But if praying were enough it would have come to be

Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves

To hear out voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom

sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way

there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith

To live, we must give; To live

And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill your lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead... Lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lent out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

Life uncommon by Jewel

Pictures

I can not upload any more pics on my flikr site, so I thought I would put more on my blog......

Enjoy! (Especially Auntie Mary)

A moment

I am taking a small moment to relax before the chaos begins with the kids coming back from pre-school and getting ready to head up to Saskatoon. There is a lot that needs to be done, but I have decided to take it slowly. I am not packing for the cabin this time and we are only going to be gone 2 nights at the max. So therefore, I can sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet.

I found in the past I can't pack days in advance. I do much better with starting my list in advance; then on the day of or night before, if necessary, I pack. I think today I am going to prove that stress is not necessary when packing last minute for a trip. I have a friend who has been encouraging me to start packing last week. I am not like that. I would actually forget more things if I packed that far in advance. My problem with packing too soon, is I will pack something, then realize I still need it and forget to put it back after, thus forgetting it.

Don't get me wrong, I will forget something. I am not that good at packing. Who is? Funny enough, I actually think Pooky bear will be a great packer, because she makes sure you don't forget anything she needs or especially wants. It will be interesting to see what happens when she gets older.

By the way, if I never mentioned before, Pooky bear can't wait to go to Saskatoon. The last time we were there was a day trip when she was 18 months old. This time, we are giving Pooky bear the MP3 player so we don't have to listen to Sharon, Lois and Bram all the way up. I have to say this trip will be significantly different from the last trip to Saskatoon. We are actually driving our own vehicle. That is really surreal to us. Although we miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car" (a 1986 2 door Tercel with duct tape covering the rust on it. It was a good thing the car was silver to "hide" the duct tape), it will be good to drive the mini van with all of its space and cd player with am/fm radio. "Auntie Mary's BIG car" only had an am radio, so we brought my cd player from grade 10 with lots of batteries. It's funny, I really do miss "Auntie Mary's BIG car", however, I am glad to have a car to call my own.

Now that I have gone down memory lane I just remembered things I need to add to my list. So I guess my relaxing time is over.

To everyone, have a great week end!

hands

Hands can be little or big, but they still can do so much.
I love my daughters!!

new pics

procrastination at its finest

My friend Cinder did this on her blog, so I thought I'd try:

The things in bold are the things I’ve done! Copy it and publish your list!!Make bold what you've done then copy and paste into your blog post. Easy-schmeezy!
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (well at the Lake)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 50 states
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked in Europe
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theater
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75 Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
77. Lost over 100 pounds
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be "sick"
90. Surfed in the ocean
91. Saved someone's life
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone else is giving birth
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Grand Canyon
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Rode an elephant

I'm a Timbit too!

I am now the official coach for the Timbits' North Zone Soccer Rider Team 4 and under category. No one else wanted the job, so of course I volunteered! The awesome thing is now I know all of the children's names and had them cheering (in unison), "GO RIDERS, GO!" It was great.

My Pooky bear did better this game. She actually played each of her turns right until the last minute where she decided she was tired and just stopped playing, so I sent in another player for the last minute, she cried so hard about me sending in someone else. Oh well, she has to learn. On her defense she had her first sleep over at her friends house last night which ended up in an awake over. Then she had to come to soccer in the morning with her friends with no nap before hand.

She had fun though at the awake over, I on the other hand missed her like crazy. I kept asking Chad if we should go over there to say good night, or at least call her. He had the level head to remind me it might agitate Pooky bear about us not being there. I did sneak in a call at 9 to find out how they went to bed though. Apparently at 4 am they woke up and would not go back to sleep until 6 am. Pooky bear had such big bags in her eyes in the morning!

You know she's really tired when she asked to have a nap when we got home. I think we will settle back into our routine pretty easy after her nap. I don't think we have another awake over for a while now, especially because it is our turn to host it next!

Remembrance Day

Today I thinks the kids and I are going to make "peace hands" to help remind me about tomorrow and teach the children about tomorrow. It's hard to explain to the kids about Remembrance day. I don't want it to be just a day where people wear poppies, and maybe watch a service on TV. How do you really teach the kids about what happened? I can teach them about peace in their world with friends and family. They have no clue about much else. I think maybe that is a good thing for now. Innocence is a virtue in this case.

another goal day

Today's goals include:
Update at 4:55pm in red

- no answering the phone with exceptions being Chad and Dr's office (I caved and answered the phone when auntie mary called, but she lives in BC, so other exceptions can be made)

- no TV past 8:30 am (this worked for everyone except for little monkey who is teething very badly and needed some baby enstein at nearly 4pm)

- wash dishes (check)

- see how a toddler I babysit will do with out her Sucky at nap time (did surprisingly well, we'll see how tonight turned out)

- do laundry *including putting it away (I did laundry and put away laundry, but I am not finished yet)

- clean and vacuum living room (Cleaned but not vacuumed)

- make a craft with the kids this afternoon (did not happen, will have to make a point of doing so tomorrow)

- host a dance party this afternoon complete with dress up clothes and everything (Did not due because of behaviours)

- tidy up entrace way (I hate this job) (still procrastinated on, but one day it will get done)

We will see how it goes, so far it is going well, but the day is not over.

a long lost friend

I have recently had recently ran into an old friend of mine. It has been a long time since I had been with them. I was so happy, but reminded about why I hadn't seen them in a long time. My friend has the tendency to be very influential with not always the greatest intentions. It's funny, after only being with my friend for a matter of minutes, I was reminded about why my distance was necessary. Yet, I still missed my friend. I am so confused. Have you ever had a friend who was energetic, fun to be around when they show up, but controled how you did things? My friend would like to get together more often. I know my answer ought to be no, but I am tempted to say yes. I guess I won't worry about it until tomorrow morning when I have to decide if I want to see my friend again.

My answer will most likely be yes, with a little milk and a lot of sugar.

favourites

Chad and I have been sharing with each other what our favourite senses are. I thought I'd share them with all of you:

Smell: The girls after they had a bath, home made bread baking

Taste: (no brainer) MILK CHOCOLATE

Sound: Pooky bear and little monkey's laugh

Touch: the girls' skin

See: my daughters playing together at their own free will, and seeing people smile when they are truly happy.

I am such a mom who loves her daughters a lot! I hope that doesn't make me weird. I wonder how much these will change when the girls get older?

fallen

I feel like I have fallen off the face of the earth now that I am babysitting, I don't have enough time to think let alone time to blog. So, sorry to anyone who has been checking my blog only to find no new entry. Hopefully I will find more time, but for now, I hope everyone had a sugar filled halloween, I know we did!

Sorry Grandma

Since the flu entered our home, I have not had the chance to even think about blogging. My days have been filled with keeping a bucket around someone in my family (myself included), sending Chad to Shopper's frequently (poor guy went there 3 times yesterday), and keeping my family hydrated with pedialyte. I am still not feeling the greatest but I am in much better shape than yesterday.

I have been feeling so bad lately because my Grandma had tickets for us to attend her church's annual supper last night. Being that I was the one sick, I thought I would feel better and kept pushing off telling Grandma I was not well. But by 5 pm it was definately obvious I was not getting any better so I called to tell her the bad news. I felt aweful especially because she spent a lot of time stressing over our tickets trying to get them at an early time so we could attend.

Tomorrow, I will call her and appologize again for canceling at such short notice.

No matter what happens, family comes first

On Saturday I got a chance to coordinate and participate in a clothing give away at our church. It was an amazing experience I will never forget. Today, my friend and I were going to share at our church what we witnessed on Saturday, however, Pooky bear woke up in the wee hours of the morning with a very upset tummy and in desperate need of new sheets etc. This continued through out the morning, so I made a decision to not to go to church (at first I was thinking just I would go) I will miss the opportunity to share with my church family but am confident my friend will explain enough for the both of us.

So, now I'm at home and all of my babies are sleeping (including my husband who got an upset stomach too from watching pooky bear). I am realizing it is a good time to reflect and enjoy the quiet, even if it is just for a brief momment.

Princess of Geeks

Chad and I had a lengthly conversation last night about who is the bigger geek, him or me. I, of course, said it was him with all of his knowledge of Star Wars, Star Trek and any other movie out there created before the 1990's that and he still role plays with his friends 2-3 times a week. Oh, and did I mention he's obsessed with his computer and all the games he plays on it. And a mention needs to go towards the fact he searches on e-bay to find rare transfomer figurines and old movies. In our conversation I also included the fact he still plays Nintendo 64 and brings it over to his friends house to play. I need to mention all of these things he does currently.

Here are the points Chad had against me:

- I was in 4 choirs in high school Done in the past

- I was in band for 5 years, the last year includes 2 jazz bands Done in the past

- I was the president of Peer Support and S.A.D.D. in my school Done in the past

- I know more than one charater to Strawberry Shortcake and Care bear's Chad can do this too

- I named my cat after a movie barely anyone has seen present time I did this, but he named his cat after a movie they based a role playing game about

- when Chad and his friends went to watch a football game at the Pump, my friends and I went with them and played Disney Trivial Pursuit at a table near the back. I need to metion too that I one the game. One point for geekiness here

- I decorated Kira's room in Strawberry Shortcake and love the fact she likes it along with barbies, my little pony, and dolls. I have been known to ask Kira if she wants to play barbies or my little ponies with me. If we were to have had a boy, or two boys, Chad would have been all over looking for GI joes and Transformers (which he looks for himself now). So, I fell this is point does not count. He's just jealous I can relive my childhood with my daughters and he can't.

So, after that discussion, he decided I was not the queen of geeks, but only a princess, and he is the knight if geeks. I know there are several geeks in the kingdom of geeks, but I still feel, I should only be a countess, where as my husband, belongs in the grand castle (he can use the castle he designed 2 years ago) of geeks as a prince.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

I feel like I'm a bad mommy

This morning I took Pooky bear and I to the dentist. It was her first time and it was fun for her, but bad news for Chad and I. She has 3 cavities starting, and one full cavity. I felt about 3 inches high after hearing that. From talking with the dentist, we concluded that from all the milk she drinks, it has been leaving a plaque build up on her teeth, and from not proper brushing the plaque away, she has developed cavities. The dentist wants to treat them imediately beacause she will have her teeth until she is ten years old. Poor Pooky bear is going to have to be sedated to have the proceedure done. I still feel bad because I even floss her teeth regularly. I am a mommy on a mission now to get better tooth paste for her with flouride and one of those cool rotory tooth brushes. The fillings she gets in November will be the last fillings she gets under my watch!


As for me, I am a proud owner of only one cavity and in need of a root canal due to crouding in my teeth. I felt pretty good about it having only one cavity. That appointment will be in December.

Now, in reguards to teeth, the only one in need is Little Monkey. I did speak to the dentist about her lack of teeth and about the way in which they are coming in and she suggested the same as my Dr, she wants me to wait until she is a year old and then take her to see a pediactric dentist. The dentist was puzzled at why they are coming in the way they are because they don't normally do that unless there is crouding. So, we will have to hope she gets teeth soon!

A great frustration

I have been busy lately trying to plan a clothing give away for our church and have run into a stumbling block which is very frustrating to me. The idea of the clothing give away was to reach out to our community, so I naturally called the two schools in the neighbourhood to see if I could send pre made flyers home with the children. The one school had me call the communications director for their board office and see if I could get permission from her. ( I have called several times and am now convinced she is never in her office or a "made up" escape goat for situations like this one, which is too controversial to answer. The other school turned me down outright because my church was not of the right denomination, not in so many words, but the is the distinct impression I got. ARGH!

On a positive note, I contacted the closest community schools in the vicinity of my church and they were excited about the give away and told me how much flyers I would need and everything. I was greatly encouraged because just with these two schools alone we would potentially be reaching out to nearly 300 families in need. Now I just need more people to donate and my job of marketing specialist is complete.

a day well wasted

This morning started off with me being the first of us girls up. This is a first for me. Normally it is my daughters who are my alarm clock. I then started straightening up preparing for company this morning. I kept checking on my daughters and was overjoyed when one of them woke up finally 1/2 hr after me. After getting the one daughter up, her and I attempted to wake her older sister. That was fun for all of us!

After we all had breakfast, a friend came over to visit, then I was presently surprised with a phone call from Auntie Mary. We were on the phone for quite a while having a good chat. I, during this time, did some laundry, put away dishes, and started cooking a roast. I am so glad I can multi-task.

Now, I am waisting time blogging while my daughters watch "Dora the Explorer".

Today is a good day!

Clean sweep

Today, I went through Pooky bear's room and did a "clean sweep" of her toys. I am very impressed with it. She actually picked up her toys before bed, probably because Chad and I sat down with her and we all decided if she leaves a toys at the end of the day not put away, mommy and daddy will take it away for a week. It sounds cruel, but wow is it working. Pooky bear was involved in the consequence, which is very similar to what happens when she does puzzles on the carpet and not on the table. I am hoping to help her develop healthy cleaning and organizing habits. It has to start now, or we'll have more problems later.
Now, tomorrow, little monkey's room!

frustrating

I got a chance today to use my skills of getting what I want out of businesses. It's how we got our van, and many other things. On the 13th, Chad had a bad conflict with our bank, they corrected the problem (after I insisted upon it) then offered Chad a pre-approved VISA. Everything was fine, he called about it, got the limit on the card, the confirmation number and was advised it would be 7-10 business days before the card would come. (Note- all this information came from the bank manager at our branch and the VISA rep. on the phone) He phoned yesterday to enquire about the card and was advised it was still on its way.

Today, when I got home from pre-school, I was shocked to find out we were declined the VISA card. I could not understand how a PRE-APPROVED VISA could be declined. Now, being the person that I am, (I don't take a lot of crap from anyone except from my family) I phoned to complain. After my conversation was done, I had a manager's direct phone number for Chad to call and a huge formal complaint filed. I ended up driving the cell phone to Chad so he could call with in the hour. He called and the manager already was aware of the situation and profusely appologized to him for the mix up and assured him the card is approved with the limit that was already discussed and is being mailed today.

I feel much better now! Another fight against a major corporation successfully complete.

Going to the dentist

Well, after 10 years, I am finally going to the dentist. I couldn't afford to do it before, but now with Chad's medical coverage, I am finally going. Pooky Bear is going to come with me for her first check up too.

Last night I had a huge migrane which was clearly brought on by my wisdom teeth trying to come out of a false pallet, they were squishing what I am pretty sure is 2 cavities. Needless to say I was in a lot of pain yesterday. Right now, I am ready for them to pull the teeth rather than fill them. Then maybe my mouth won't be so crouded with teeth. Oh well!

I have been talking to Pooky bear about the dentist, she is excited about it. I sure hope she doesn't have any cavities. I think I am more nervous for her. She hasn't complained about her teeth, but you never know. I just don't want to see her in pain.

Fall

I know it's that time of the year again not only because the leaves are changing and the weather is colder, but I have my usual fall cold sore. I have always not liked them, but since I have had children, I really dislike them. I can kiss them as much as I want them to. What's really frustrating is I now have to wear a band-aid on it so Little Monkey doesn't touch it. It's rather uncomfortable, but it is better to have a band-aid than not to.

Pooky bear woke up this morning and saw the band-aid on my lip and asked why I have it. I explained I had a cold sore and that I don't want anyone else to touch it, she quickly ran into her room and gave me "Boe, the bear" to make me feel better, aren't children sweet!

Found a spark

I discovered I have a deep passion for the women ministry, esspecially for those women with young children. Based on that passion and understanding, I spoke with a friend of mine, who runs mom2 mom with me, and I told her about the desire I had to do something for the low-income families who live accross the street from our church. My suggestion, after discussing with her how much spare clothes we have, was to have a clothing give-give-away. We are actually going to do it in October. I am so excited about it! I have been wanting to do something for our community in need for a long time and now I have the chance to participate in it. It will be a lot of work, but it doesn't seem like it to me because I want to do it. I have found a spark, one day soon it will be a flame again!

Littlest pet shop

My little girl made a fort out of pillows and is sitting in it reading her poster for "Littlest Pet Shop" http://www.hasbro.com/littlestpetshop/ picking out everything she would like. I have never seen her like this before. She likes Barbies, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, dolls, little people, etc., but not as much as she loves her Littlest Pet shop animals lately. Chad and I have decided that if anyone asks what she wants for Christmas, we will tell them about Littlest pet shop. She is already wanting to write a letter to St Nicholas about what she wants for Christmas. It's still September! We kind of brought that one on ourselves because we told her earlier, when she asked for the Pet shop animals, maybe she could get them for Christmas. We didn't expect to get such enthusiasm from her about Christmas though!

Final update for Super cleaning week end!

Well, I wasn't able to complete my whole list of cleaning by Sunday night, however, I am happy to say I finished most of it. Today, I am going to work on Kitchen organization and clean the bathroom. I feel that will be adequate for the day. Cleaning is such an endless task. My goal for getting a cleaning routine is still in reach, but still needs fine tuning.

Super Cleaning Week End!

My updates on my cleaning progress Sat at 7:30pm is in purple:

My update on my cleaning progress Sun at 1:00pm is in Green:


My cleaning jobs for this week end are:

- Go through the girls clothing and pack away clothes which no longer fit and are not in season anymore. Go through Pooky bear's baby clothes and take out what Little monkey can wear. Little monkey needs this very badly done as she gained almost 2 1/2 lbs in one month! I am half done this. I did pooky bear's drawers, now I need to do Little Monkey's 3/4's finished. The hardest part was going through all of the rubbermaid bins of clothing. I actually sorted them now, so when she needs another size, I can just grab one rubbermaid bin. Yeah for that, now the only thing I have left to do is fit the clothes in Little Monkey's drawers and closet...Yeah!

- Laundry, including putting it away! I am half done this too. Only 4 more loads to do. It sounds like a lot, but I never actually caught up from last week. I am still pluggin away at it, I regret to say I did not do anymore laundry last night, but am very confident I will complete it today.

- Recycling paper and glass done and done

- Sleam cleaning my living room carpet, I keep putting it off Yeah, I'm still putting it off. I discovered I can get Chad to do it, so now, I am no longer procrastinating, just waiting for someone else to do.

- Pack up bassinet, mental note to remember to pack the linen with it. It is all ready to be taken down, I have the box sitting beside it with the linen in the bassinet waiting. The rest is Chad's job Chad is just waiting for Little Monkey to wake up from her nap so he can put it away.

- Dishes (that's a given) I am very happy to say I have only 2 more loads to do including our supper dishes from tonight, yeah! The dishes were done yesterday, but of course there are still dishes to wash from today. I really dislike the fact that there are always dishes to wash.

- Organize cupboards again, fitting in baby food is hard in a very small kitchen! I must do this tomorrow Still have not started this one, I thinnk I am going to tackle this one when the girls are in sleeping.

- Clean the girl's rooms, including steam cleaning their carpets I have decided to officially give Chad this job to do tomorrow. I really dislike steam cleaning. Chad and I talked about this one and decided, he is going to clean Pooky bear's room and I am going to clean Little Monkey's room.

- sort my "pile-o-junk" on top of my fridge. This is definitely a job I am going to do tomorrow with the sorting the cupboards. This is going to be another task to complete when the girls are sleeping.

- go grocery shopping Hee Hee I just added this one because we did this today too.

I feel a little sad because I have been cleaning what seems like forever, but have not finished much, here's hoping I complete a few more things on this list tonight and still have time to watch Extreme Makeover: home addition http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/ We'll see!

This is a huge list to do, hopefully I can accomplish most of it, if not I will add it to my list to do Monday.

Fall cleaning, HERE I COME!

A busy week

The week for me has been over-whelming with emotions. Pooky Bear started her first day of Pre-school. I can't believe it. I took her out on the weekend and got her a new "pack-pack", new runners, lunch bag ("mommae! It's not a lunch box it's a bag"), and a new outfit for the first day of school. (I am getting more school clothes this weekend).

It seemed so wired having a child in pre-school. I never expected to feel this way. I took 7 pictures of her with in 5 minutes. I was so excited about her starting school I completely forgot that I volunteered to be the parent helper for the first day of school. Oh well, it worked out beautifully because I have the best baby in the world! Little monkey slept and sat in the car seat for an hour, then enjoyed sitting and watching all the kids play with and around her. It was a wonderful day!

I found myself only wanting to talk to people who were actually excited about Pooky bear starting school. I didn't quite understand why some of my friends weren't excited. It is a big milestone in her life. But then I realized some of my friends don't have kids that age, so they don't quite have the realization that their baby is no longer a baby anymore. They'll soon learn.

Aside from that excitement, I FOUND MY CAMERA!!!! I have been missing it for a month now, and have already ordered a camera from e-bay to replace it. (It's my birthday gift) But I found it! It was in Little monkey's room in the bottom basket of her bassinet. A place I wouldn't have even thought to look for it, but I did look there this morning trying to find little monkey's fleece suit. I always seem to find things when I am looking for something else. I was so happy I found the camera, I forgot what I was originally looking for! Oh well.

In other news, I am now officially a soccer mom! I have been waiting to be a soccer mom since before I had kids. Auntie Mary and I used to go to my brother and sister's soccer games and I secretly wished one day I could be a soccer mom, complete with the chair and the ability to know every name on their child's team. Right now my chair can't be used as it is indoor soccer, but you better believe I will know all of Pooky bear's teamate's names by the end of the first game! She starts beginning of November and ends at the end of March. She will be playing in my old stomping grounds at Dr. Hanna gym. I can't wait. I

It's funny when I see parents who are sad when their children grow up, but I am the opposite, I am loving every minute of it, well, almost every minute of it. I want to be that parent who is driving their children to all these activities and participating when ever I can because I never had that. My parents were too busy with my siblings and still are busy with them. I always told myself, "if I ever have children, they are going to be treated equally, loved, respected, valued, trusted, and given all the support I possibly could." And that is what I strive to do.

Another thought

Sometimes I feel the more I learn, the more confused I get. I remember when I first became a Christian; there is a God, He loves me so much he gave His only son for me. I wish I had that passion again. I am surrounded by people who, I believe, still have that passion. With me, I still know there is a God, and in Him I have my trust in, but I feel there is no passion. I read my bible confused with all it's contradictions in it.

There is a youth book I have that takes teen yes or no questions, like whether or not to have sex before marriage, and gives you a yes and no answer with supporting bible verses for both. Granted the verse for "yes, it is OK to have sex before marriage" was a stretch because essentially focused on the idea that "Adam and eve did it with out a formal wedding". However, it bothers me that such a book can exist. This is why, I feel, there are so many different Christian denominations. I sometimes feel that books with this much contradiction should be burnt because it is like looking for an answer from God that you like, not actually what God would want from you.

I remember first really reading the bible, I started with the book of John. As I was told from the alpha course it was the best book to start with as a new Christian. Now I am reading other books of the bible and find myself confused because of something I read earlier. The old testament is definitely the hardest read, but is helpful to remember that God through Jesus changed some of the "old rules", but I still find it hard.

I would give anything to have that spark again, I have a lot to be thankful for, I know I would not be where I am today without God. I have lost my niche I guess. Youth is no longer my passion, I don't know where it lies anymore. I think I am going to start reading purpose driven life again to see if I can get on track again.

I am mokey

I did a "which Fraggle are you?" and I am mokey, does it surprise anyone?





I

Fraggle Rock

I love how, as a parent, I get to relive my childhood through my children. I just discovered Fraggle Rock http://www.fragglerocker.com/media/pics.asp?galleryName=group is back on the air mornings on BBC Kids at 10:00 a.m. I was overjoyed! Kira actually sat with me this time and did not get scared of the Gorgs! I was so happy. I love how T.V and toy companies are using what I used to play/watch as a child and mainstreaming it back because it's my generation who are having children. Extremely smart marketing as far as I'm concerned.

Moments I wish I were 3 again

Pooky bear just got a small box of new barbie accessories from Auntie Kyla today and is loving every minute if them. I insisted on sorting her room first before she got to play with the "new" toys. She waited patiently and helped when she could because she knew the end result would be.

When I was done, I found myself setting up a little house area for her barbies and was loving the fact her own barbies were about to get clothes on them. I found myself wishing for my old barbie stuff and wanting to play with pooky bear for hours. When I asked if I could play with her while Celeste slept, she politely said, "not right now mommae, I want to play with them myself. Maybe tomorrdow, tomorrdow you pay with me?" I accepted her offer reluctantly and secretly wished I was 3 again.

just some thoughts

These past few months have been filled with changes and the ideas of more changes to come. I find it fristrating when some changes are easy and some are very hard and challenging. My persuit of trying to "better myself" and/or improve my family's situation has been a hadfull but I am starting to see the benifits slowly.
Here are some of my goals and how they are progressing:

1) Start to manage our budget and recognize the need for one. This has actually, with a lot of greif at first, proven to be one of my goals I am happiest about. I came up with a system on the computer which I have found to be very effective. Yeah for computer litteracy!

2) Create a schedule for cleaning the house. (ie. Mondays-laundry Tuesdays-dusting etc.) This has been going OK for me except when the girls and I are out of the house for the day. I have to re-work my schedule and make it suite our active lifestyle.

3) Creating boundries for the phone. This one has been a challenge for me, but I have created a boundry for no talking on the phone in the afternoons. This doesn't always work, but I am not giving up on it.

4) Creating "time for mommy". This is more so in the evenings when Chad is home. I am getting better at this goal, but it needs some improvements.

5) Trying to spend one-on-one time with each of the girls during the day. This can be easy some days when is having full naps and Kira is having a day where she wants to play ing her room by herself for a while. Other days it is a lost cause because they both demand my attention at the same time.

To do list

My goal today is to clean house. We'll see how I do:

- wash dishes

- do some laundry including folding and putting away.

- clean bathroom.

- clean living room and prepare for steam cleaning it.

- make supper

- get a bottle ready for little monkey for tonight

List of things not to do while trying to complete to do list:

- not talk on the phone

- no T.V. time for mommy

- no stopping what I'm doing to pretend I'm a little girl. O.K, I can do it, but only for 1/2 an hour at a time. *

- no going on the computer, after I finish this blog of course!

- no reading, except for maybe the occasional quick book to the girlies. *

We'll see once again how much I can accomplish!



* it's not procrastination if you are playing with or reading to little girls.

wee girlies

Maryanne sent me the pics from when her and Chris were in town, enjoy these few pics of the girls. Pooky Bear and Chris got their haircut at the same time, so it was rather special and worthy of several pictures. The rest are on my Flickr page.

Back from the beach

The girls and I had an amazing time at the beach!
This is how we spent our week:
- playing on the beach
- ate Grandma's wonderful cooking. YUMMY!
- watching Celeste jump in the jolly jumper
- going into Govan with Papa
- taking Kira on her first horse-back ride
- swinging on the many swings out there
- enjoying a birthday supper for Alayne's 16th birthday (Kira made many presents for her)
- playing lots of card games into the wee hours of the morning
- Kira enjoyed going for coffee with Grandma and Grandpa every day
- making crafts (we actually ran out of beads, I didn't think that was possible!)
- I learnt how to quilt by hand (Kira actually demanded I "go quilt with the ladies, you'll like it mommae! I go too and make crafts" she actually gave me her green scissors to use, it was cute.
- went for several walks, double strollers are wonderful!
- Kira and I shopped at the garage sale twice (I found some amazing finds like a book about germany from 1915 and one from 1941. I picked them up for Auntie Mary but I started reading them myself and they are interesting reads. Kira bought a basket full of little toys which she still enjoys!)
- just relaxed and enjoyed the wonderful company!

Kira I think misses being out there, but she was happy to be home and enjoyed antagonizing Fizzgig the moment she walked in the door. (Fizzy loved it!) Celeste I think was happy to be home, she slept for 10 hours straight. Yeah! Nothing like sleeping in your own bed I guess. I am busy today doing laundry, and some light cleaning as Chad did most of it while we were gone. Yeah!

To the lake and beyond.....

The girls and I are once again going to the lake, only Arlington beach this time to go see my Grandma and Grandpa Mann. I think it will be a good time, I need some time to just relax and have fun and I can do that out there. No more cleaning, no more laundry, no more stinky daddy.....at least until Saturday...Ha Ha Ha!

on a positive note

My brother and his girl friend are coming over, it will be good to have company to keep my mind off of things. He had perfect timing......God does answer prayers

a true vent

My family and I are on a budget diet to get all of bills caught up and we can actually start to save money and become debt free. After a lot of prayer and consideration I sat down and created a budget. This month was supposed to be the hardest. Boy is it ever! I never imagined we would have to deal with the things we have had to and today proved no different. I feel satan it really trying to stop my family from becoming debt free and deal with our problems rather than our usually hide from them. I don't know if this is a test of faith or Satan is really trying to step in, I do know I am Pissed off about it! I am not going to give up the budget, but it keeps getting worse, so now next month will be a tough month again. Will it ever end?

It's wierd because I keep wondering if it is my stubborness that is keeping me on the budget or is it the fact I am so pissed off that I have to keep on the budget to prove we can do it. And oddly enough I wonder if faith has anything to do with my eagerness to keep with the budget because I know we are doing the right thing and God will have bigger plans for us once we tackle this huge task. I don't know. I just don't know.

violin

After taking a "what instrument are you?" test here are my results:

You scored as Violin.
You are a violin. Thoughtful and relaxed, you played a major role in the orchestra, and in people's live's. You have the perfect personality balance... not annoyingly cheerful, but not depressed. You think about the things you say, being honest, but gentle. You're very laid back, and rarely let anything get to you. People love you for your honesty and you're fun to hang out with!!

Prayer mania

Lately, I have been in almost constant quick prayer mode with everything. Everything Pooky bear is testing her boundries, I pray a quick prayer for strength. At every meal, a quick prayer thanking God for the food. Everytime Chad and I have a conflict, I pray profusely (for him mainly). When I check my e-mail to see how the missions trip is going for my friends in Shri-lanka, I pray quick prayers through out the day, because, wow, they need it! I found out my friend was having a bad head ache/migrane, I pray quick prayers for her. I am not one who normally feels the need to pray a lot. This is rather new to me. Am I finding answers to my prayers? Sometimes. As for the unanswered prayers, well, it all falls on hope and faith.

Bananas

I thought it was going to be a given that our Little Monkey was going to love bananas. Did I ever learn a lesson. Today, when I first gave her bananas, she looked up at me, as though to say, "what is this crap?", then proceeded to make a face which was half gagging and half sour face. It was so funny. So, I gave her more. (I can be so cruel at times) She made the face again, and I had to show her sister (who laughed hysterically) While Pooky bear and I were laughing, Little monkey managed to grab the food and tried to look for different food and looked at me with an angry face on her saying,"where's the real food?" I admit I actually apologized to her about not having any more food at snack time, then proceeded to give her more bananas. Oh that look! She did get smarter with that last mouthful as she would not open her mouth anymore to eat. Smart baby.

My speech lesson

Pooky bear and I got into a huge debate on how to pronounce Little monkey's name. It was quite humourous because she was talking the same way Chad and I do when we correct her speech:

"It's Sir-lest mommy"

"your close honey, it's Sul-lest; your getting better".

"Mommae, it's Sir-lest. Can you try to say that? Sir-lest"

"Sul-lest"

"Great job mommy, your getting better"

"But sweetie, listen to mommy, it's S-u-l-e-s-t"

"No mommy, it's Sir-lest"

"Pooky bear, mommy and daddy named her Sul-lest not Sir-lest"

"Great job mommy! You said it right!"

Argh!

Another basement day

Chad called me this morning at 9:30 a.m. advising me to take the girls downstairs today. The high for the day, he told me, is 39 degrees with the humidex. That is HOT! I then proceeded to check the current temp and it was already 33 degrees with the humidex. After a few quick phone calls, I cleaned the basement "living room" (including vacuuming) and took the girls downstairs. Pooky bear loves it because it is like a treat for her, but Little monkey is still not sure about the idea.

Tales of the day to come...

BIG house

Walking up to the girl's great grandma's apartment (which is 6 stories high) yesterday, Pooky bear says, "Wow! Great Gwama's house is BIG, bigger house! Let's go see her BIG house Mommae" We all thought it was cute, it reminded me of the time she thought her auntie Mary's little Toyota Tercel was a Big car. I can easily understand only being three feet tall how everything looks "BIG, Bigger".